Plain Advice

On a recent Wednesday, I woke up and went downstairs. My husband had already left for work (normal). However, when I came to the kitchen table, I found a note (not normal) which read

I love all of you. I am nothing without you. Please be kind to each other. Love, Dad

My initial reaction was “hmmm, that’s weird”, but after that first feeling, I just thought it was sweet. So on I went with my day.

I went to work, and didn’t hear from Jorge all morning (normal… he’s a teacher). Then I got pretty busy at work in the afternoon, and didn’t realize until about 4:00 that I still had not talked to him all day. I tried calling his cell phone but he didn’t answer (normal). He never returned my calls (not normal).

I was on the phone with my mom around 5, and I mentioned to her the note Jorge left that morning. I told her I hadn’t been able to get a hold of him and she got a worried sound in her voice. This made me worry. She asked that I call her when I heard from him.

Around the same time, I called home and talked to my teenagers. They said they hadn’t heard from dad all day, and were a little freaked out. Usually, he shows up around lunch time if only for a few minutes. My 18 year old’s reaction to the note was “dad left a suicide note”. I reassured them that dad was fine and I was sure we would hear from him soon. But I was not so sure myself.

Let me digress and explain my concern. I wasn’t worried that Jorge had or ever would kill himself. He just loves himself too much to do such a thing. He is also not the selfish type that would off himself and leave his family behind to deal with the aftermath. It’s just not him.

However, the note was TOTALLY out of the ordinary. So my concern started to be along the lines of “what if he had a premonition that he was going to die today, and therefore left us the note as comfort when he was gone”. I know it sounds far out there, but that was seriously what I was starting to fear when I couldn’t reach him.

By 7:00 everybody was in a panic. I called home and nobody answered. I called my 16 year old daughter on her cell phone. She said that she and her sister had left the house because they got scared of what might have happened to dad (not sure how leaving the house helped, but hey, they are teenagers). I said I would be right home.

I found out when I got to the house that some of Jorge’s friends had come by to pick him up for a golfing appointment. Another cause for concern that he wasn’t there for that.

My mom called me about the same time to ask if I had heard from my husband. I told her I hadn’t, and she said she was going to call him herself. No luck, he didn’t answer for her either. I tried calling a few of Jorge’s friends but couldn’t get a hold of any of them.

Finally, I remembered that it was the night that Jorge normally holds a meeting for his soccer league. I jumped in my car and drove over to where the meeting is typically held. By this time I was frantic. All the “what ifs” were going through my head, and I was scared. The fact that we bought a pretty decent life insurance policy last year didn’t comfort me. I was thinking about how sad life would be for my kids without their dad. I was thinking about how sad my life would be without my husband.

When I drove up to the meeting place, I spotted Jorge’s car. That was a relief, but still, I was in panic mode. I marched in, past a few people, to the room where the meeting is held. I walked through the door and found Jorge in the front of the room, leading the meeting. I asked him to step out into the hallway. My intention was to chastise him severely for leaving that note, and for not calling all day.

However, when we stepped into the hall, my anger gave way to tears and I hugged him tight. He looked confused. Then my anger returned. I said “now that I know you’re alive, I’m going to kill you”. I asked why he hadn’t gone home for lunch. Running errands. Me: “You missed your golf appointment” … Him: “I forgot”. I asked why nobody had been able to get a hold of him all day. He held up his phone rather sheepishly and said it hadn’t been working… He also said he had tried to call me and our 16 year old daughter but had never gotten through. He told me to check my caller ID, but that wasn’t necessary really. I was just so glad to see that he was alive and well. And the love note really was just a love note. A sweet, thoughtful note.

In light of this experience, it would be wise to consider the following advice:

1. Be very careful about leaving the occasional love note. If it is out of character for you to do such a thing, leave a post script on your note, clarifying your intentions in writing the letter.

2. On the day you leave the note, make sure you are available by phone.

3. If you must leave a note, don’t miss appointments that day. And stick to your normal schedule.

4. On the other hand, there is some value that can be gained from scaring your family into thinking they might have lost you. It may have the effect of reminding them, and you, just how much they love you.

Lastly,

5. If you are wondering if your spouse wants you dead for the purpose of collecting your life insurance, this may be the way to find out how s/he really feels.

• If she seems disappointed to see you alive and well, you have a problem and should probably watch your back.
• If she is genuinely happy to see you, assume that you are worth more to her than all that money she stands to get when you are gone.

Have a comment? We love feedback!

Share This

To be honest, even though I followed my weight loss plan this past week (thank goodness I am back on the wagon!) I didn’t really expect to lose at my Thursday weigh in. I expected that my little dieting “detour” was going to keep showing up for this week, and maybe then I would start losing. So I was pleasantly surprised when I saw that I had lost 1.8 lbs. If you recall, that is exactly how much I had gained last week, so now I am back at where I started before I got off track.

I don’t have any epiphanies regarding weight loss to share at the moment. Sometimes, you just have to keep going along doing what you know you need to do and that is all. That is exactly what I am doing, and so far, so good.

Thanks for stopping by!

Share This

As a child welfare worker of 8 years, I have compiled a list of things to do if you no longer wish to parent your children. Maybe you are tired and just need a break. Or maybe you want to move forward with your life, without children holding you back from what you really want to do. So here it is!

1. Leave the door unlocked, or open, and take a long, long nap while your 2 year old is allowed to wander the neighborhood. This one works best if you are not the type of person who knows your neighbors, and your kid is non-verbal. This way, nobody can figure out where your child lives. 
2. If you have any type of mental illness that is being treated, stop the treatments. Be sure not to follow any of your treating doctors recommendations. In fact, stop seeing the professional altogether. Things will probably unravel pretty quickly.
3. If you are a single mom, look for the creepiest guy in the neighborhood and then start dating him. Marry him. Don’t be surprised when you find out he has been molesting your kids. When your kids tell you this is happening, tell them you don’t believe them. Let them tell their friend or teacher, so it can get back to the authorities.
4. Do drugs while you are pregnant, so your baby will test positive at birth.  The more addictive the drugs,  the better.  It tends to get people super upset when they see a baby going through drug withdrawals at such a tender young age.
5. Do lots and lots of drugs, with your kids right there in the room. Better yet, do drugs with your kids (someone has to teach them, right? Why not you?). While you are at it, teach your teenage daughter how to prostitute to pay for the drugs.
6. If you really want your kids taken away in a hurry, methamphetamine labs in particular tend to alarm the authorities. Something about how they can explode and kill a child at any given point in time. Not to mention their incredible amount of toxicity.
7. Hit your kids, and do it hard enough to leave a mark. Several bruises in differing phases of healing will make the social workers feel even stronger about taking your child. Or bones that have broken and healed at different rates.
8. Fight violently with your significant other while your children are home. If you aren’t the type to be aggressive, find a partner who is, and let them hit you, push you down, call you degrading names, etc. Make sure your children see this kind of stuff happening. No matter what anyone says about how dangerous this relationship is, keep going back and trying to work things out with this person.
9. Don’t clean your house. Ever. If you have pets, don’t house train them. Make sure there are feces on the floor, where your baby needs to crawl to get anywhere. Leave food out on the counters so that rodents will frequent your kitchen.
10. Don’t do the basic things you should be doing for your kid. Make sure not to get them to school, doctors, dentists. Don’t feed them, don’t do their laundry, don’t help with homework, don’t nurture them, don’t supervise them… this approach may take longer, but eventually somebody will notice that your kids are being neglected.

OK, that’s the end of the list.   Now you know what 8 years of working in child welfare will do to you.

Just as a disclaimer, NO I am not seriously suggesting that you do any of the things listed above. Sadly, most of these do happen to children on a regular basis, which is why the job of a child welfare worker is never done.

Seriously, if you are struggling as a parent, there are ways to get help that don’t involve hurting or neglecting your children. For support and ideas, visit Prevent Child Abuse America, or call 1-800-CHILDREN.

Share This

I want to talk about money. I have had some significant problems in this area of my life, and I have learned quite a few things. I am still not where I want to be financially, but I am in a better place than I was even a year ago. So I want to talk about some of the issues I have faced, and what I have done to resolve them. I want to share the things that have and haven’t worked for me.

This topic will most definitely have to be presented in a series, because there are so many subtopics to be addressed. So be aware that this post is only the beginning of many articles sharing my ideas and experiences regarding money.

My Background

First of all, let me give some background. I was raised in an upper middle class family. My father is a lawyer. For as long as I can remember, he has worked as a court administrator. We were not “rich”, but he brought home a decent salary and there was never any financial stress that I was aware of growing up. If we needed something, we always had it. If we really, really wanted something, we usually had it also. My parents talk about being poor when they were students, and living on army rations that my grandparents gave to them. I was five when my dad graduated from law school, but I don’t remember anything like that.

Even though my dad made good money, I was not spoiled in the sense that I didn’t know how to work for things. I had a job starting at the age of 14. I worked as a courtesy clerk in a grocery store, and eventually became a cashier. The money I made was mine to use as I wanted. Of course my parents encouraged me to save money and be frugal, but I don’t think I actually ever saved any significant amounts.

When I turned 18, I went away to college. The first year, my parents paid all my expenses. For my second, third and fourth years, they paid my tuition and books, and I got a job to pay for my rent, food, and other living expenses.

My financial problems started early on in college. Looking back at how easy I had things financially as a student, I regret many of the unwise choices I made regarding money. There are two mistakes I made while in college that I can see contributed significantly to my financial problems:

1. When I received offers for credit cards in the mail, I took them. I used the cards as if they were free money. I did not really take into account how I would pay them off as I used them.

Because the cards had low limits, I felt they were manageable. I got 3 or 4 cards that I used regularly when I was in school. Each card had a limit of approximately $500, which I regularly maxed out.

These cards are not a direct problem for me now (they are long gone), but with them I created a pattern where I was using credit for unnecessary purchases, and I was often late on the payments. A few of the cards went to collections when I was unable to make the payments. This was the beginning of my bad credit.

2. Because I changed my major midstream in school, it ended up taking me 5 years to graduate. My parents had budgeted to financially support me for 4 years of college. Therefore, I was responsible to pay my tuition and books my fifth year, something I had never done.

This was the year I decided to take out a few student loans. This, in and of itself, was not a bad decision. The mistake I made was in taking the maximum amount that was offered to me, even though I did not need that much. For only one year of tuition and books, I ended up taking out about $12,000 in student loans. My tuition that year was approximately $3000, and my books were about $800. I took $8000 above what I needed! I have nothing to show for that money, except a payment I have to make every month to pay it back.

It has been almost 9 years since I graduated from college, and these loans are still not paid off. I am not even close to having them paid because I have taken forbearances (allowed breaks from making payments) for various reasons. During these breaks, the interest has compounded. I now owe roughly $20,000 on these loans.

By the way, just so you know, it is not easy for me to write about all this… to put it all out there for people to read. It’s embarrassing to air dirty laundry, especially when it comes to finances. So many people are “hush hush” about these things. But I truly feel that others may be able to learn from my mistakes. If that is the case, my temporary discomfort will be worth it.

So what can you learn from these mistakes I have made?

If you are a young person, with a fresh clean financial slate, CONGRATULATIONS! I would love to be able to go back in time, and be in your position, knowing what I know now.

Start by educating yourself all you can about the world of credit. The most important thing to keep in mind is that the decisions you make now regarding money will affect your life for years to come. I know many mothers of young children who don’t want to work, but are forced to put their children in daycare just so they can make monthly payments to creditors for purchases they made long ago. It is tragic, and far too common.

Also, know that damage you do to your credit now will show up on your credit report, and affect your score for years to come. When you damage your credit report, it is much more difficult to buy a house, car, or any other large purchase. It may even make it difficult for you to get a job!

A third thing to realize is that right now you are establishing patterns of behavior in your life. It is much easier to start doing things right, and maintain that direction vs making lots of mistakes now and having negative behavior patterns to change later.

If you are a parent, teach your children all you can about how to manage money and credit. Regardless of what type of financial failures or successes you have had, your children deserve to be armed with the knowledge that will help them avoid costly mistakes. Don’t assume that they will automatically understand and know all about this when they turn 18. They will be bombarded by creditors who want to loan them money. Talk to them and teach them about it before this time comes.

My parents are wonderful, and they did a great job raising me. They managed their own money well and always provided a good example of financial stability and security for me. My grandparents have also been wonderful examples of perfect integrity when it comes to money and credit.

Even though I was surrounded by financially successful people, I do not remember ever specifically learning how to handle credit and debt. I now believe it is one of the absolute most important things parents should be teaching their children. So make it a point to talk about these things with your kids!

If you are like me, and have already screwed up, have hope! It is not an easy process, but things can turn around! Stay tuned for further articles in this series, which will address things that have and haven’t worked for me as far as improving my financial situation, and more specifically, my credit profile.

As always, thanks for stopping by. Please leave a comment if you have anything to add!

Share This

An interesting thing has happened in the past few months. I stopped watching TV. I have never been the type of person to spend excessive amounts of time in front of the tube, but I definitely had my favorite shows that I was loyal to every week (namely, Prison Break and 24…now that is what I call good TV!). And at night, as I fell asleep, there were certain “wind down” shows that helped me sink into a peaceful slumber (think “Everybody Loves Raymond, King of Queens… you get the picture).

But those days are gone.

My departure from television was never something I intended to do. I never even gave my TV habits a second thought. I found watching it to be relaxing. Because I didn’t watch excessively, I never felt bad about taking the time to view my favorite shows.

Six weeks ago, I went from working 20 hours a week at my job to 40. On the surface, that could do a lot of the explaining about my lack of TV in the past two months. The fact that the new shows are on reruns all summer could also have something to do with it. But neither of those are the real reason I have stopped watching.

About 8 weeks ago, I started this website. Along with this site, a part of me came out from hiding that I had forgotten was there. I reconnected with many things that I feel fervent about. In addition to reconnecting with these passions, I discovered that the internet is a practical medium for disseminating the ideas and principles I feel so strongly about. And, lucky me… I discovered that I actually enjoy writing! And I am pretty good at it too.

People have asked how I find time to write on this blog when I have so many other things to do in day. My answer to them is that you find time to do things you want to do. You become willing to sacrifice those things that don’t bring you the same level of satisfaction. For me that has been television.

I don’t know how long my separation from TV will last. If it’s forever, that’s really OK with me. I have a feeling that I am going to keep blogging for a very long time because of what I gain from doing so. Which is, by the way, a little money, but a huge amount of personal satisfaction. If big money ever does come along as a result of blogging, it will just be a nice bonus because I love doing it so much. Imagine, making lots of money doing something you would do for free anyway! Well, maybe someday…

So what’s my point? Well, first let me say what it’s not. I am not trying to convince you to stop watching television. I am also not out to recruit you to start blogging. What I am trying to get across to you is to find something to do in life that you feel passionate about. It’s really wonderful to have something to think about and build and work on that you love to do. The other things that are sucking away your time with little to show for it will naturally decrease in priority. And you will be much happier!

Today I was driving along, and I realized how much I love my life right now! Of course, it is not perfect. I have weight to lose. I have bills to pay. I have a messy house today and sometimes I feel like I am getting it all wrong as a parent. But I love my husband. I love my kids. I love my job (what am I, crazy?). And I love writing about how to solve problems, how to live better, and how to find solutions to all things negative in life.

Are you happy? Are you doing things in your life that feel positive and rewarding? Is the way you spend your time worthwhile? If you answered no to any of these questions, challenge yourself to find ways to alter things so you can answer yes to them. If you did answer yes, great! Keep living life to the fullest!

Thanks for stopping by… hope to see you back soon!

And please, share your experiences with the ideas in this article by leaving a comment!

Share This

For those of you who don’t know what Chuck-a-Rama is, let me tell you. It is an all you can eat buffet in the Midwest United States. Among their best items are their rolls (yum, to die for), and their bread pudding. They also have a variety of home cooked foods that change from day to day. Oh, and let’s not forget the salad bar.

I specifically use Chuck-a-Rama in the title of this post because I have found that I am getting traffic to this blog when people search the word “Chuck a Rama” on google (PlainAdvice.com used to consist of restaurant and other business reviews, if you are wondering why this is happening). So I wanted those people to find this page and feel that they really did get some information about what they were searching for!

For the rest of you, the title could really just read “All You Can Eat Buffets as a Weight Loss Tool”.

By the way, this is not a joke. I really truly am going to write about all you can eat buffets as a weight loss tool. Here goes.

Most people think of buffets as a place to go and get so stuffed that you have to unbutton your pants and roll out the door when you are done. I used to be one of those people. I would walk into a buffet, hungry, of course, and I wanted to make sure I got my money’s worth. Not only that… there were just so many things that looked good, I wanted to eat everything to my hearts desire. Needless to say, I was not thinking of “buffets as a weight loss tool” at that point in time.

Judging by a lot of the people you can observe eating at buffets, I am thinking that a majority have also not realized how they can help you in losing weight. I am not trying to be mean, but the next time you are in a buffet restaurant, look around. Some of the heaviest people I have seen tend to be there.

Well, on with my story. My husband is from a different ethnic background than myself. Due to this difference, in the early part of our relationship, we found that we often could not agree on what type of restaurants to go to. As time passed, we found that buffets provided a good place for us, because we would both be able to find something we like. To read more about my marriage and buffets, click here.

After a few years of dating and marriage, and eating at many buffets during that time, I needed to lose weight (hmm go figure :)) So I started doing Weight Watchers. However, just because I was trying to lose weight didn’t mean that my hubby and I no longer went to buffets. It meant that I changed the way I ate when I was there.

I found that out of most of the restaurant choices out there, buffets are probably the most diet friendly of them all (aside from Chinese Buffets, which I believe are pure evil… but delicious.)

At a buffet, you can get a nice big salad to start with. For obvious reasons, the salad is not too difficult to keep weight friendly. Limit the cheeses, nuts, croutons, and go light on the dressing. I personally always choose to eat the full fat ranch, but I put it in a little condiment cup and dip my fork in before each bite. I end up eating very little dressing that way, but I still get the flavor in each bite.

Next, I go take a look at the main dish selections. There are usually a plethora of high fat items that look delicious. Macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes, fried chicken, etc. Depending on the day at Chuck-a- Rama, you can find lasagna, enchiladas, and scones. OK, so those foods are not weight friendly right?

The way I look at it, the buffet presents an opportunity to try a taste of several different items. This instead of stuffing yourself with a full serving (or more) of each and every one. Here are a couple things I keep in mind as I approach the bar to get my food.

• First of all, is this something I really want to eat? If it doesn’t look like something I would truly enjoy, I pass on it. Why waste calories on something you aren’t going to love?
• Second of all, I decide how much of the food would be enough to satisfy me. Usually, it is a bite or two. Really. I know that sounds strange, but it is true that the first few bites of something are usually the best anyway.
• Third, I tally the nutritional content in my head and weigh it against the calories I need to be eating at this meal. Does it fit? Can I afford to eat a bite of something that is going to cost me 5 points? (probably not, if my meal should consist of 10). I eliminate certain choices just because it is not worth it to me to have such a little bit of food for the points value. Again, that usually comes down to questioning if it is a food I really want to try.

When I go to a buffet, I normally try a few items that are normally “off limits” to me. This is the really wonderful thing about eating at one of these establishments as a dieter. It does wonders for me psychologically, because I feel that I get to indulge, without compromising my dieting goals. In a conventional restaurant, you can’t ask the waiter to bring you a bite of this and a bite of that. You have to choose one or two items and that is your meal. At home, I doubt many of us would cook more than one entree’, and then take a bite or two of each one. You can’t beat the variety at a buffet!

Besides indulging in a few bites of the normally forbidden at a buffet, the bulk of my meal usually consists of some healthy, low fat options that fill me up. Starting with a salad helps. For the main portion of my meal, I often have a piece of baked chicken breast, with the skin removed. Or fish. I love cooked vegetables, and often eat the ones that I don’t normally cook at home… but be careful! Sometimes the cooked veggies have a lot of added fat. Usually, this is something you can see if you look for it. Butter floating on top of the water where the corn is sitting is not a good sign.

For dessert, I revert to my earlier process of deciding what to eat. Dessert depends on my mood. At times I want to eat something that is rich and decadent. When this is the case, a bite or two is plenty. When I feel like having more quantity of dessert, the buffet almost always has sugar free jello and pudding. There is also fresh fruit to choose from. Again, this is a beautiful thing about a buffet… all the choices.

Another thought about buffets is this… it takes practice to approach an all you can eat restaurant with a healthy attitude. At least it has for me. The more I have gone to eat at these places, the more able I am to keep my wits about me when I see all that food. Currently, I not only go to buffets with my husband on occasion, but I also go regularly with a Weight Watcher friend of mine. When we tell somebody we are going to weigh in and then going to Chuck-a-Rama, people look at us strangely, as if we are undoing all the weight loss efforts. Not true. We have so much practice going to buffets that it is no longer dangerous to our weight loss goals.

So there you go. Buffets really are a dieters best friend when it comes to eating out. Let me know what you think by leaving a comment!

Share This

Since my “Coming Clean” post a few days ago, I have kept the commitments I made to myself. I have written in my food journal daily, I weighed in on Thursday. And here I am, updating as I said I would.

As expected, I gained weight since I stepped on the scale 2 weeks and 2 days earlier. The gain was 1.8 lbs. I actually expected it to be more. But regardless, I am glad to be done with that weigh in, to be moving in the right direction again!

Journaling is so valuable when it comes to my weight loss efforts. Just tonight, as I was tallying up what I ate today in comparison to this past week, I realized that I am out of weekly flex points. This is not good, since I have 3 days left before a new week starts.

In the past, flex points have been very important to me psychologically. Knowing they are available tells me that I can eat a little more than my daily points and still be within the plan (and lose weight). When I have run out of these points early in the week, I have felt discouraged enough at times to give up for the rest of the week. That cannot happen this time. Despite my disappointment that the weekly allowance is gone, my journal allows me to know exactly where I stand, and I can plan for it. It is so true that knowledge is power.

When I realized the situation, I committed to exercise over the next few days so I can earn a few extra points, giving me the flexibility I need. We are leaving town in the morning, and I wasn’t planning to squeeze a workout into my schedule. But now I am planning to.  If for some reason I don’t, Plan B is that I will just have to stay within my daily points!  Not impossible.  It just requires me to be very conscious of what I am eating and make the smartest choices. 

It is very important to my weight loss success that I do what it takes to stay on track today, tomorrow, etc. Right now is a critical time because I am still getting back in the groove.

As always, thanks for stopping by and sharing my journey with me. Have a great day!

Share This

How It All Began

I have been “addicted” to n ose spray on and off (mostly on) for the past 2 years or so. It all started when I was 8 months pregnant and I got a really bad cold. There was very little in the way of medications that I could safely take to treat my severe congestion. The things I tried like Sudafed didn’t work very well and kept me awake at night. I was so miserable.

One night during this illness, I went out to eat. My waitress was also pregnant, and she noticed how sick I was. She made a suggestion to me… nasal spray. Over the counter run of the mill nasal spray. She recommended the Wal-Mart brand. Said it worked like a miracle to clear congestion, and it was safe during pregnancy.

I called a friend who is a pharmacist to confirm that nasal spray truly is safe to use while pregnant, and he confirmed it was. We went to Wal-Mart on the way home and bought the stuff. I was staying with my parents at the time while my husband was out of town. They are witnesses that my first use of the spray was very awkward. I had a hard time figuring out how to get the medicine up into my nose without gagging it down my throat (UGH!). But I finally did figure it out. Oh, did I figure it out.

It really was a miracle. I never appreciated breathing through my nose so much. It was pure heaven. I slumbered all night and had a new hope for the next day with my miracle drug at my side.

The package warns (for good reason) that you should not use the spray for more than 3 days at a time. If you use it any longer you can develop “rebound congestion”. Your nose swells shut inside even when you are no longer sick, requiring you to continue using the spray just to breathe normally.

Well, I ignored the warning because my cold lasted for more than 3 days. They say the way you can get off the spray is to suffer through the rebound congestion…. for up to 2 weeks!… and then your nasal membranes will readjust and start working on their own again. Well, being 8/9 months pregnant, I had enough discomfort to deal with. So I didn’t quit. After my daughter was born, I did not choose to go through the withdrawal because I was so tired and adjusting to life with my new little baby.

Well, months passed, and a lot of money passed between myself and the drug stores. I no longer used just the Wal-Mart brand, but I used any kind of spray I could get my hands on. At times I felt like a nose spray junkie. I became obsessed with always having the stuff available. If I left the house for more than a couple hours, I panicked if I didn’t have it with me. Eventually, there were bottles in my purse, diaper bag, bathroom, car,office…. My husband was worried at the thought that I was addicted to anything. He wondered if it was making me high or something, because he just didn’t understand why I would be so obsessive about using a nose spray (by the way, no it does not make you “high”. It does not affect your brain, or any other part of your body. Just the nasal membranes).

I researched the nose spray addiction a little and found at that I was not alone. Apparently, there are many people out there depending on that small bottle to get them through each day and night. There are people who have been addicted for 30 years or more! Imagine that! Well, I didn’t want to be one of them.

The Final Straw

One particularly bad memory with this problem was my 6th wedding anniversary. Actually, the evening was wonderful and romantic. After going out to dinner, my husband and I sporadically decided to go to a hotel for the night (sans luggage of any kind). When we got there, I realized I didn’t have my nose spray! I left my husband in the room while I ran to the store to buy some. (He was fine with this, since there was a soccer game on he wanted to watch anyway Everything was fine until about 2pm. I woke up severely congested. I took my bottle of nose spray into the bathroom and turned on the vent, because I didn’t want to wake my husband with my awful nose snorting sounds. I swear it took about an hour of snorting the spray and blowing my nose before it finally cleared out. I remember thinking how ridiculous it was to be sitting in that hotel bathroom for an hour dealing with congestion while I should have been sleeping peacefully next to my husband. Every night required me to wake at least one time to use the spray. This was the night it just really hit home how inconvenient this problem had become.

The Solution

My mom told me she had heard of something that claimed could help rebound congestion, called Rhinostat. It’s a system she saw advertised that is supposed to help you wean yourself off of nasal spray, without having the extreme discomfort of going cold turkey. I decided to give it a try, especially when she ordered it for me!

Well, if I thought nasal spray was a wonderful thing in the beginning, Rhinostat was truly the miracle I needed to get off it. After about 7 days of using the system, which gradually dilutes the medication with saline solution, I was off the spray. I couldn’t believe how easy and painless the process was. The only thing required was that each morning I filled my sprayer with a slightly more diluted solution of the spray. Each time I felt congested, I used the spray as normal, and it worked.

It has been about 2 months since I have been off nasal spray. It is so wonderful to have that monkey off my back! I was cleaning out my desk a few days ago and found several bottles that were still full. Before I used the Rhinostat, I would have been desperate to find these bottles during a period of congestion. But this time, I threw them away with a smile, knowing that I no longer need that stuff.

So here is my advice to you: If you suffer from rebound congestion, try Rhinostat. You can visit their website to order your kit today. (By the way, I am not an affiliate for Rhinostat, and I am not being paid to write this article). It is well worth the $50 or so that it costs to be free from nasal spray addiction. And if you have not tried nasal spray, be careful if you decide to use it. It really does work to relieve congestion… but please, heed the warning label and don’t use it more than the recommended amount of time.

Rebound congestion is an inconvenient, embarassing, money eating, time consuming affliction. So do what you can to get over it and stay away from what causes it!

If you experience, or have experienced rebound congestion, please share your experience and what has or hasn’t worked for you in getting over this problem.

As always, thanks for stopping by! Hope to see you back soon…..

Share This

I sit here in my hotel room. It is 4:47 am and I can’t sleep. The world is silent and finally I stop to think. And what do I feel? I am sad. Sad that I have broken commitments to myself. The commitments that if kept would make me more healthy, more fit, more confident. Sad that my 5 year old told me recently that I am fat because I ate too much candy. Sad that I feel self conscious about my body all the time. Sad that I don’t feel attractive. Sad that I don’t know how to trust myself about food. Sad that I am not exercising. Sad that I am not setting a good example for my children. Sad that they might be sad like this someday. Sad that I am not living up to my potential. Sad, sad, sad. (by the way, thanks for indulging me in my pity party).

Now what?

First of all, where did I go wrong? I don’t know the cause of my problem. Something inside me drives me to eat when I am happy, when I am sad, when I need comfort, when I am angry, bored, and again, when I am happy. And then there is the part of me that is so “all or nothing”. Meaning, I do everything right, or else I do nothing right. If I eat more, you would think I could realize that I should step up my exercise to compensate. But I don’t… I stop exercising. Something in me says “what’s the use?” Totally irrational. I don’t know why I am this way.

This time, it all started to fall apart…when, I am not exactly sure. But some things started happening that were not good signs. I stopped writing in my food journal. That is commitment #1 to myself that I broke. I felt bad about it the first day, the second day, the third day…but then I fell out of the habit and stopped thinking about it. I know myself, and I know if I don’t hold myself accountable through a journal that I cannot manage well. That is why I committed to do it. Because I know it is essential to my success.

When I stopped writing in my food journal, I also broke other commitments to myself. This past week, I broke a major one… I didn’t weigh in. I didn’t want to face the consequences of my actions. I wanted to continue in my behaviors without having to be conscious of what I was doing. I stopped updating my weekly progress (or lack thereof) on this site. Again, I didn’t want to face the reality of what was going on. And I was, and still am, embarassed. Who wants the world to know when they are failing miserably?

In the short term, I like to live unconsciously. I like to feel free to do what I want when I want. It is the part of me that likes to wake up in the morning free from restrictions, free from rules and structure. In so many ways I am not “free” to do what I want because of time and money constraints.

It’s not that I have a super-strict, super-structured life. But I do have a lot of people who need me to do things for them, important things. My family needs me. My job needs me. My life needs me. I need me too, to be healthy, awake and alive. But instead, I do a lot of taking care of myself through food. Problem is, I am not taking care of myself at all when I use food in this way. I end up just hurting myself, causing the disappointment and pain that is coming to me so poignantly right now.

But I am thankful for this moment I am having. It is a turning point. I am thankful for the quiet opportunity I am at, where I can reflect and redirect myself. It feels good to realize where I am and to know that I don’t have to stay here. I am so glad that I can change my course and start over. Actually, I don’t want to start over . This is not day one. This is day 112, or 8 weeks. I take responsibility right here and right now for all 8 weeks of what I have done since I made my goal to lose the weight. There are good things and bad things I own in that. And right now, I recommit myself to do the things I know will take me where I want to go.

I will write in my food journal every day. Every single day. I will weigh in every week, once a week. I will live consciously. I will do the things that nurture myself in the long run. I will exercise again, 4-6 times per week. I will be an example of healthy living to my children, and feel good knowing that I am passing something to them of great value. I will weigh in weekly. I will share my journey on this website by posting a weight loss update once per week, at least. I will believe in myself once again.

I feel weak and tentative, but I feel hopeful. I can do this. I have done it before and I will do it again.

Thank you for coming to this site and reading this post. I hope my journey will uplift and inspire you in some way.

Share This

I have noticed that when I am lifting weights, especially during moves that require balance, it is very important to focus on the task at hand. When I am focused mentally and physically on what I am trying to accomplish (ie working the muscle group) I am able to maintain my balance. The minute I start looking around at others, or even when I start looking at myself in the mirror too frequently, I tend to lose my balance.

The relationship between focus and balance is not exclusive to weight lifting. While working through any problem or toward any goal, it is necessary to focus on your inner resources and motivations for what you are doing. When you move your focus elsewhere, you lose balance. Looking around to compare yourself to others will cause you to become distracted. You become discouraged because everyone else seems to be better off than you, or conversely, you become overly confident because you see how far ahead you are in comparison to others. Neither type of comparison will get you very far.

In weight lifting, as in life, keeping the focus on what you are doing, and why, gives you the ability to build and maintain balance. So stop looking around at everyone else. Stop comparing yourself as better or worse to others you see. Instead, see yourself for who you are and where you are. Refocus on what you really want, why you want it, and how you are going to get it. Balance will come much easier as you approach your dumbells and your life with this attitude.

Share This