Plain Advice

I have been associated with Weight Watchers for several years, and generally, I have found that the information they give is concrete, and full of common sense. A few years ago I lost 47 lbs with them, and have seen lots of others lose weight with their methods. I attend meetings, frequently visit their website, and I also subscribe to their magazine.

Imagine my surprise when I opened the September/October 2007 issue yesterday and found something that actually made me mad. I am still angry, and wondering what possessed them to write what they did.

The article, found on page 116, is titled “Can we talk? We help you find the right words to address a loved ones weight problem“.

WHAT? Can they really be serious?

Since when is there an overweight adult out there who doesn’t know they are fat? (I say adult, because I do think it is important to address weight issues if you are dealing with your minor children).

Can you imagine saying “Hey Barb, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but you’ve really got some muffin top going on there. I just wanted to let you know”. Barb looks down, genuinely surprised to see that her belly is, in fact, hanging over her jeans. “Thanks”, she says,”now that you’ve pointed that out, I think I’ll go on a diet! You are such a great friend!”

I don’t know whether to laugh, cry, or curse about this article. I will be even more mad if well meaning friends and family, having read the article, try to strike up conversation with me about my weight issues. I don’t care how much you love somebody, or hate somebody for that matter… it is never in good taste to point out to them that they need to lose weight.

I cannot think of a single way somebody could sensitively tell me that they thought I was getting too heavy. People, do you think I don’t know?

Even more than that, having someone approach me about their “concern” would probably just send me right into the comforting arms of a donut.

Weight loss is a difficult process, and the main ingredient for success is personal motivation and desire to do it. An individual is not going to lose weight because YOU told them they needed to. It has to come from them and them alone (OK, maybe a doctor’s advice or the innocent comment of a 5 year old can help to open their eyes, too).

If your friend, sister, mother, father, husband, wife, etc. has a weight problem but is not doing anything about it, you can safely assume that they are probably not ready, no matter what you might say or think.

You can support your overweight loved one in their own goals, but you cannot help someone lose weight until they have decided for themselves to do it, and for their own personal reasons..

I think there are plenty of people out there who feel this same way I do. I don’t need anybody to point out my weight issues… chances are, I notice them much more than anybody else could anyway. And besides, we have enough 5 year olds out there to get the message across, if somehow we become blind to how we look.

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Over the past week, I have had guests for dinner twice. I must admit, the food I made was GOOD. I know because I tasted it, and also because my guests raved. Regarding one of the meals, my husband said it was the best food he has eaten in years (not sure how to take that). But even more than that, the meals were friendly to my weight loss plan! Check out both menus (numbers represent Weight Watcher point values per serving):

Meal #1

Chicken Enchiladas (6)

Spanish Rice (2)

Corn on the Cob (1)

Steamed Zucchini (0)

Peach Cobbler and Lite Vanilla Ice Cream (5)

Meal #2

Chicken Cordon Bleu (6)

Smashed sweet potatoes (2)

Asparagus (0)

Chocolate Caramel Cheesecake (5)

People are surprised when they find out my cooking is diet friendly. I am often asked how I come up with my recipes. One of my guests (who happens to be my mother) made the following comment after meal #1: “Everything tasted like it was super fattening!” (Translation : everything was delicious! Nothing like diet food)   :)

Well, I am about to share with you a few of my secrets to good cooking while losing weight:

1. Almost any recipe can be adjusted to be diet friendly. There really isn’t a food that is truly off limits (even chocolate!). For example, take the Chicken Cordon Bleu. This dish is normally very high in fat (and very tasty!) But for my recipe, I used reduced fat swiss cheese, lean ham, and baked the chicken in a breadcrumb coating instead of frying.

2. There are lots of free recipes online. My favorite site for finding healthy meals is 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet. Click on the recipe section and explore the possibilities! All recipes are complete with nutritional information and Weight Watcher point values. Another good resource is Dottie’s Weight Loss Zone (although, the best thing about Dottie’s site is that she has points calculated for foods at just about any restaurant you can think of).

3. Enjoy lots of veggies! Vegetables add color and bulk to your meal. When cooking them, I usually season with a bit of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter Spray, salt and pepper.

4. Watch your portions. As I said in #1, no food is truly off limits. Portion size is the key ingredient to this principle. Not so important with vegetables, but crucial when it comes to dessert (why can’t it be the other way around?) The serving size for the cheesecake in meal #2 is 1/12 of a 9 inch pie pan. That is not a very big piece, however it is rich enough to be satisfying. Eating more than one serving in a sitting would defeat the purpose of making a “diet friendly” dessert.

5. Take advantage of all the foods that are out there. Reduced fat cheeses are widely available, and they taste much better than the fat free versions. Sugar substitutes have come a long way in the past few years; Splenda (sucralose) will maintain it’s sweetness even when it is exposed to high temperatures (meaning, it can be baked); I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter Spray is a staple at my house. It adds the taste of butter without the fat and calories

Stop thinking of your diet as being restrictive and depriving. Make good food, try new things, and enjoy the journey!

Your feedback is valuable…leave a comment!

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While the intelligent use of instant gratification can help you reach your goals, there is no doubt that the use of delayed gratification is also a necessary part in reaching any worthy aspiration.

While usually considered “the right thing to do”, delayed gratification usually gets a bad rap for the discomfort it can impose. While people often dread “delaying” the things they want, they often overlook a hidden value inherent in this principle. In addition to bringing you closer to the results you want, implementing delayed gratification can also help you experience increased pleasure in your daily activities.

For example:

Doesn’t it feel great to drift off to sleep when you are dead tired?

How about being chilled to the bone and stepping into a warm shower?

Doesn’t your favorite food taste more delicious than usual when you haven’t had it in awhile?

During the labor and delivery of my firstborn, I became extremely thirsty. The protocol in my hospital was to limit food and drinks to a laboring mother, as contents in the stomach can be dangerous should a c-section or other osurgery become necessary. The nurses allowed me to have a small ration of ice chips hourly. My ration never seemed like enough. I was constantly waiting for the next amount to be measured out. After laboring for about 8 hours, I was rushed in for an emergency c-section (good thing they had the protocol!). It was another couple of hours before I was back in my room and able to have a drink (by the way, I acknowledge that many women have had much longer labor than this!)

When I was finally allowed a real drink, the nurse brought me a can of Sprite and a cup of ice. I remember vividly as the Sprite poured into my mouth, down my throat, and quenched my thirst. It was the most delicious and refreshing beverage I had ever experienced.

For months following the birth of my son, I drank a lot of Sprite. I bought it by the case. It was OK, but I was never able to enjoy it the same way I did right after giving birth. Why? The answer is obvious. The increased pleasure I experienced drinking the Sprite was due to the fact that I was very thirsty. I had delayed the quenching of my thirst (not by choice, but hey, that’s not the point ).

If you dread dieting, budgeting, rising early, or doing anything else that comes with it a requirement of delayed gratification, consider making a conscious shift in your paradigm.

Instead of focusing on the discomfort that comes from depriving you from what you want (ie “dieting allows me less freedom with food”), focus on the long and short term pleasures that come from delaying pleasure (ie “dieting will help me lose weight, and not only that. Dieting will also help me enjoy the food I do eat even more).

In the short term, your pleasure will actually be heightened as you moderate yourself. Focusing on this aspect of delayed gratification will make it easier to stick to your daily goals that will eventually bring you to the results you want to see.

Have something to say? Please, leave a comment!

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I am a big fan of instant gratification. But then, who isn’t?

Even though we all like it, the term instant gratification usually comes with a negative connotation. Often, we view the desire for immediate pleasure as something that gets us in trouble, or keeps us from reaching our long term goals. It is true that living only for pleasure right this moment probably won’t work in the long run. However, instant gratification can be used as a valuable tool toward reaching your goals.

Take weight loss as an example. Typically, failure to shed pounds boils down to an individual consistently going for instant rather than delayed gratification. Choosing brownies over brocolli. TV over the gym. French fries over apple dippers. You get the picture. By making these choices repeatedly, you step further and further away from your goal (in this example, to lose weight).

Now that we have touched on the bad, bad, bad side of instant gratification, let’s explore how the pursuit of instant pleasure might actually help you reach your goals. It’s simple. The key here is to look for sources of instant gratification that directly result from the actions you must take to reach your goal . They are there, I guarantee it.

I made a list as I was trying to motivate myself to get back on track with my weight loss. The list includes:

• The instant energy and adrenaline that comes after a good workout.
• Sore muscles that I know I worked hard to achieve (and that are working hard for me as they repair and rebuild).
• Runners high
• Hearing and moving to the upbeat music in weight lifting class
• Knowing that if I keep going with what I am doing, more of my clothes will soon be fitting and looking better on me.
• Seeing myself differently, even on day one of following my plan.
• Enjoying food more.
• Never feeling uncomfortably full.
• Knowing that the way I am living is something I will be happy I did in the future
• Knowing that I am setting a good example for my kids
• Being really tired at bedtime because I got up early to exercise
• Sleeping well

The things on my list may not strike you as sources of instant gratification at first, but to me, they genuinely are. They all feel good (some physically, some mentally) and they all happen immediately as I follow specific steps on my weight loss plan. Keep in mind, this technique can be applied to any long term goal you may be working toward.

So,

Instead of focusing on the deprivation and sacrifice required to reach a goal, try focusing on the things that feel good along the way. Maximize your pleasure and enjoy the journey. It will be a lot easier to stick to something if you are actually enjoying it as you go.

Note:  If you liked this article, you may want to check out Delayed Gratification and the Feel Good Factor.

Your comments are valuable! Please share your experiences with us…

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For those of you who regularly read this blog, you may have been wondering why I have not been posting my weekly weight loss updates as I was doing, and as I said I would. So here’s my explanation.

As you may remember, I have not been very consistent in my weight loss efforts. I have gone “on and off the wagon” (as my fellow weight watcher buddy and I like to put it) so many times over the past few months that I can’t even count (actually, this has been going on ever since I had my youngest child who is now 21 months old!) .

Honestly, I get tired of sounding like a broken record when I am giving updates. “This week, doing great” and then back to “not doing so good” the next week over and over is embarassing, and I don’t think it is helping you to read it, either.

It is not that I have given up on my weight loss goals. In fact, right now I am back on track and hopeful. But I have decided that before I include you readers on my journey, I need to get a little time under my belt, experience some success, and develop some confidence in this area of my life again. After all, you can’t help anybody else unless you can help yourself, right?

This doesn’t mean that weight loss is never going to be the topic of discussion. It only means that I am no longer committing myself to update you every week on my progress. Maybe someday I will start again, but right now just isn’t the time.

Thanks for your patience and understanding.

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To be honest, even though I followed my weight loss plan this past week (thank goodness I am back on the wagon!) I didn’t really expect to lose at my Thursday weigh in. I expected that my little dieting “detour” was going to keep showing up for this week, and maybe then I would start losing. So I was pleasantly surprised when I saw that I had lost 1.8 lbs. If you recall, that is exactly how much I had gained last week, so now I am back at where I started before I got off track.

I don’t have any epiphanies regarding weight loss to share at the moment. Sometimes, you just have to keep going along doing what you know you need to do and that is all. That is exactly what I am doing, and so far, so good.

Thanks for stopping by!

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For those of you who don’t know what Chuck-a-Rama is, let me tell you. It is an all you can eat buffet in the Midwest United States. Among their best items are their rolls (yum, to die for), and their bread pudding. They also have a variety of home cooked foods that change from day to day. Oh, and let’s not forget the salad bar.

I specifically use Chuck-a-Rama in the title of this post because I have found that I am getting traffic to this blog when people search the word “Chuck a Rama” on google (PlainAdvice.com used to consist of restaurant and other business reviews, if you are wondering why this is happening). So I wanted those people to find this page and feel that they really did get some information about what they were searching for!

For the rest of you, the title could really just read “All You Can Eat Buffets as a Weight Loss Tool”.

By the way, this is not a joke. I really truly am going to write about all you can eat buffets as a weight loss tool. Here goes.

Most people think of buffets as a place to go and get so stuffed that you have to unbutton your pants and roll out the door when you are done. I used to be one of those people. I would walk into a buffet, hungry, of course, and I wanted to make sure I got my money’s worth. Not only that… there were just so many things that looked good, I wanted to eat everything to my hearts desire. Needless to say, I was not thinking of “buffets as a weight loss tool” at that point in time.

Judging by a lot of the people you can observe eating at buffets, I am thinking that a majority have also not realized how they can help you in losing weight. I am not trying to be mean, but the next time you are in a buffet restaurant, look around. Some of the heaviest people I have seen tend to be there.

Well, on with my story. My husband is from a different ethnic background than myself. Due to this difference, in the early part of our relationship, we found that we often could not agree on what type of restaurants to go to. As time passed, we found that buffets provided a good place for us, because we would both be able to find something we like. To read more about my marriage and buffets, click here.

After a few years of dating and marriage, and eating at many buffets during that time, I needed to lose weight (hmm go figure :)) So I started doing Weight Watchers. However, just because I was trying to lose weight didn’t mean that my hubby and I no longer went to buffets. It meant that I changed the way I ate when I was there.

I found that out of most of the restaurant choices out there, buffets are probably the most diet friendly of them all (aside from Chinese Buffets, which I believe are pure evil… but delicious.)

At a buffet, you can get a nice big salad to start with. For obvious reasons, the salad is not too difficult to keep weight friendly. Limit the cheeses, nuts, croutons, and go light on the dressing. I personally always choose to eat the full fat ranch, but I put it in a little condiment cup and dip my fork in before each bite. I end up eating very little dressing that way, but I still get the flavor in each bite.

Next, I go take a look at the main dish selections. There are usually a plethora of high fat items that look delicious. Macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes, fried chicken, etc. Depending on the day at Chuck-a- Rama, you can find lasagna, enchiladas, and scones. OK, so those foods are not weight friendly right?

The way I look at it, the buffet presents an opportunity to try a taste of several different items. This instead of stuffing yourself with a full serving (or more) of each and every one. Here are a couple things I keep in mind as I approach the bar to get my food.

• First of all, is this something I really want to eat? If it doesn’t look like something I would truly enjoy, I pass on it. Why waste calories on something you aren’t going to love?
• Second of all, I decide how much of the food would be enough to satisfy me. Usually, it is a bite or two. Really. I know that sounds strange, but it is true that the first few bites of something are usually the best anyway.
• Third, I tally the nutritional content in my head and weigh it against the calories I need to be eating at this meal. Does it fit? Can I afford to eat a bite of something that is going to cost me 5 points? (probably not, if my meal should consist of 10). I eliminate certain choices just because it is not worth it to me to have such a little bit of food for the points value. Again, that usually comes down to questioning if it is a food I really want to try.

When I go to a buffet, I normally try a few items that are normally “off limits” to me. This is the really wonderful thing about eating at one of these establishments as a dieter. It does wonders for me psychologically, because I feel that I get to indulge, without compromising my dieting goals. In a conventional restaurant, you can’t ask the waiter to bring you a bite of this and a bite of that. You have to choose one or two items and that is your meal. At home, I doubt many of us would cook more than one entree’, and then take a bite or two of each one. You can’t beat the variety at a buffet!

Besides indulging in a few bites of the normally forbidden at a buffet, the bulk of my meal usually consists of some healthy, low fat options that fill me up. Starting with a salad helps. For the main portion of my meal, I often have a piece of baked chicken breast, with the skin removed. Or fish. I love cooked vegetables, and often eat the ones that I don’t normally cook at home… but be careful! Sometimes the cooked veggies have a lot of added fat. Usually, this is something you can see if you look for it. Butter floating on top of the water where the corn is sitting is not a good sign.

For dessert, I revert to my earlier process of deciding what to eat. Dessert depends on my mood. At times I want to eat something that is rich and decadent. When this is the case, a bite or two is plenty. When I feel like having more quantity of dessert, the buffet almost always has sugar free jello and pudding. There is also fresh fruit to choose from. Again, this is a beautiful thing about a buffet… all the choices.

Another thought about buffets is this… it takes practice to approach an all you can eat restaurant with a healthy attitude. At least it has for me. The more I have gone to eat at these places, the more able I am to keep my wits about me when I see all that food. Currently, I not only go to buffets with my husband on occasion, but I also go regularly with a Weight Watcher friend of mine. When we tell somebody we are going to weigh in and then going to Chuck-a-Rama, people look at us strangely, as if we are undoing all the weight loss efforts. Not true. We have so much practice going to buffets that it is no longer dangerous to our weight loss goals.

So there you go. Buffets really are a dieters best friend when it comes to eating out. Let me know what you think by leaving a comment!

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Since my “Coming Clean” post a few days ago, I have kept the commitments I made to myself. I have written in my food journal daily, I weighed in on Thursday. And here I am, updating as I said I would.

As expected, I gained weight since I stepped on the scale 2 weeks and 2 days earlier. The gain was 1.8 lbs. I actually expected it to be more. But regardless, I am glad to be done with that weigh in, to be moving in the right direction again!

Journaling is so valuable when it comes to my weight loss efforts. Just tonight, as I was tallying up what I ate today in comparison to this past week, I realized that I am out of weekly flex points. This is not good, since I have 3 days left before a new week starts.

In the past, flex points have been very important to me psychologically. Knowing they are available tells me that I can eat a little more than my daily points and still be within the plan (and lose weight). When I have run out of these points early in the week, I have felt discouraged enough at times to give up for the rest of the week. That cannot happen this time. Despite my disappointment that the weekly allowance is gone, my journal allows me to know exactly where I stand, and I can plan for it. It is so true that knowledge is power.

When I realized the situation, I committed to exercise over the next few days so I can earn a few extra points, giving me the flexibility I need. We are leaving town in the morning, and I wasn’t planning to squeeze a workout into my schedule. But now I am planning to.  If for some reason I don’t, Plan B is that I will just have to stay within my daily points!  Not impossible.  It just requires me to be very conscious of what I am eating and make the smartest choices. 

It is very important to my weight loss success that I do what it takes to stay on track today, tomorrow, etc. Right now is a critical time because I am still getting back in the groove.

As always, thanks for stopping by and sharing my journey with me. Have a great day!

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I sit here in my hotel room. It is 4:47 am and I can’t sleep. The world is silent and finally I stop to think. And what do I feel? I am sad. Sad that I have broken commitments to myself. The commitments that if kept would make me more healthy, more fit, more confident. Sad that my 5 year old told me recently that I am fat because I ate too much candy. Sad that I feel self conscious about my body all the time. Sad that I don’t feel attractive. Sad that I don’t know how to trust myself about food. Sad that I am not exercising. Sad that I am not setting a good example for my children. Sad that they might be sad like this someday. Sad that I am not living up to my potential. Sad, sad, sad. (by the way, thanks for indulging me in my pity party).

Now what?

First of all, where did I go wrong? I don’t know the cause of my problem. Something inside me drives me to eat when I am happy, when I am sad, when I need comfort, when I am angry, bored, and again, when I am happy. And then there is the part of me that is so “all or nothing”. Meaning, I do everything right, or else I do nothing right. If I eat more, you would think I could realize that I should step up my exercise to compensate. But I don’t… I stop exercising. Something in me says “what’s the use?” Totally irrational. I don’t know why I am this way.

This time, it all started to fall apart…when, I am not exactly sure. But some things started happening that were not good signs. I stopped writing in my food journal. That is commitment #1 to myself that I broke. I felt bad about it the first day, the second day, the third day…but then I fell out of the habit and stopped thinking about it. I know myself, and I know if I don’t hold myself accountable through a journal that I cannot manage well. That is why I committed to do it. Because I know it is essential to my success.

When I stopped writing in my food journal, I also broke other commitments to myself. This past week, I broke a major one… I didn’t weigh in. I didn’t want to face the consequences of my actions. I wanted to continue in my behaviors without having to be conscious of what I was doing. I stopped updating my weekly progress (or lack thereof) on this site. Again, I didn’t want to face the reality of what was going on. And I was, and still am, embarassed. Who wants the world to know when they are failing miserably?

In the short term, I like to live unconsciously. I like to feel free to do what I want when I want. It is the part of me that likes to wake up in the morning free from restrictions, free from rules and structure. In so many ways I am not “free” to do what I want because of time and money constraints.

It’s not that I have a super-strict, super-structured life. But I do have a lot of people who need me to do things for them, important things. My family needs me. My job needs me. My life needs me. I need me too, to be healthy, awake and alive. But instead, I do a lot of taking care of myself through food. Problem is, I am not taking care of myself at all when I use food in this way. I end up just hurting myself, causing the disappointment and pain that is coming to me so poignantly right now.

But I am thankful for this moment I am having. It is a turning point. I am thankful for the quiet opportunity I am at, where I can reflect and redirect myself. It feels good to realize where I am and to know that I don’t have to stay here. I am so glad that I can change my course and start over. Actually, I don’t want to start over . This is not day one. This is day 112, or 8 weeks. I take responsibility right here and right now for all 8 weeks of what I have done since I made my goal to lose the weight. There are good things and bad things I own in that. And right now, I recommit myself to do the things I know will take me where I want to go.

I will write in my food journal every day. Every single day. I will weigh in every week, once a week. I will live consciously. I will do the things that nurture myself in the long run. I will exercise again, 4-6 times per week. I will be an example of healthy living to my children, and feel good knowing that I am passing something to them of great value. I will weigh in weekly. I will share my journey on this website by posting a weight loss update once per week, at least. I will believe in myself once again.

I feel weak and tentative, but I feel hopeful. I can do this. I have done it before and I will do it again.

Thank you for coming to this site and reading this post. I hope my journey will uplift and inspire you in some way.

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I have noticed that when I am lifting weights, especially during moves that require balance, it is very important to focus on the task at hand. When I am focused mentally and physically on what I am trying to accomplish (ie working the muscle group) I am able to maintain my balance. The minute I start looking around at others, or even when I start looking at myself in the mirror too frequently, I tend to lose my balance.

The relationship between focus and balance is not exclusive to weight lifting. While working through any problem or toward any goal, it is necessary to focus on your inner resources and motivations for what you are doing. When you move your focus elsewhere, you lose balance. Looking around to compare yourself to others will cause you to become distracted. You become discouraged because everyone else seems to be better off than you, or conversely, you become overly confident because you see how far ahead you are in comparison to others. Neither type of comparison will get you very far.

In weight lifting, as in life, keeping the focus on what you are doing, and why, gives you the ability to build and maintain balance. So stop looking around at everyone else. Stop comparing yourself as better or worse to others you see. Instead, see yourself for who you are and where you are. Refocus on what you really want, why you want it, and how you are going to get it. Balance will come much easier as you approach your dumbells and your life with this attitude.

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