Plain Advice

When I started working as a child welfare caseworker a little over 8 years ago, I remember feeling very uncomfortable about the fact that I was expected to make decisions that in my estimation should be left up to God. Decisions such as what family a child should be placed with for adoption. Or whether to give a chronic drug mom just one more chance. On a daily basis, questions like these come up as a part of my job.

I quickly learned that I did not want, nor was I expected, to make these decisions unilaterally. I came to see the great value in working as part of a team, and making decisions as a part of that group. I learned to give the best input I can, with the most accurate information possible. After doing this, I am able to relinquish control and leave the decisions to a power higher than myself, whether that be the team or a judge. I like this approach and find peace in doing things this way.

As I observe others in my position I see that some have not adopted the same attitude of being a team player. It never ceases to amaze me when I see a fellow worker refuse to abdicate an ounce of control to anybody else.

The people I am talking about seem to guard their authority with their lives. If they are out of the office, and somebody else makes a decision for them, they get mad, even if the decision is what they would have decided to do anyway.

I don’t understand how the people described above can feel comfortable about making such big decisions on their own. With a team approach, there are different knowledge bases, different points of view, and different checks and balances. I feel a sense of relief when working with a team on an important decision.

Control freaks are not limited to my line of work. You may even be one yourself (would you admit it if you were?)

If you have an insatiable need to be in charge, why not keep the following things in mind?

1. Giving up some control means less liability for you. In really sticky situations, I would much rather spread the responsibility around rather than take it all on my shoulders. Have you ever heard the term “safety in numbers?” Well, it applies here very well.

2. In talking about liability, I am not only talking about the potential for a lawsuit. I am also talking about making the best decision, that will have the best outcome.

In my job, I worry more about my moral and ethical liability rather than legal liability. When I make a decision solo, (without considering others point of view), and have a terrible outcome, sue me all you want but you couldn’t make me feel any worse. I truly believe that the more input you get and use from others, the better the end result is going to be.

2. You may be special, just like your mother says, but you are not indispensable. No matter how good you are at what you do, there is somebody else who could do it just as well, if not better. So get off that high horse and realize that the world really would be OK even if you weren’t around tomorrow.

3. Being controlling is a sign of insecurity. Confident people are able to take feedback and advice from others without feeling threatened or weak.

4. Save your competetive side for the basketball court, or the X-Box. Nobody likes being around somebody who has to make everything into a game they must win.

So, with all that being said, here’s to being a team player!

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This entry was posted on Monday, August 27th, 2007 at 11:30 pm and is filed under Personal Development. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.