Plain Advice

A few weeks ago, I stumbled across a blog that I have been reading ever since. It is the online journal of a boy who was suffering from rhabdomyosarcoma, a rare form of childhood cancer. Miles Levin was 17 years old when he was diagnosed with the disease. After 18 months of aggressive treatment, Miles was declared cancer free. However, the cancer returned with a vengeance, and on August 19, 2007, Miles Levin died. He was almost 19 years old.

The story of Miles has caught the attention of many. CNN’s Anderson Cooper has spotlighted him, as well as numerous other widely read publications. Although his story has a tragic ending, his writings during his battle with cancer are poignant, honest and above all, inspirational.

After reading through a few of his journal entries a few nights ago, I turned to my normal evening task of writing an article for this site. I found myself in a strange situation. I could not write about anything. Nothing seemed worthy or important to address at that moment, after reading the writings of a young man, who had death on his doorstep.

My heart aches for his family, who fought long and hard, in every way they could, to combat the cancer that took Miles. I especially identify with his mother. I have not experienced her grief, but I do know the intense love of a mother for her child. The loss of one of my own children, I think, would be the most painful thing I could experience.

The reason I am writing about Miles Levin, however, is not to depress you. My purpose is to share with you a bit of the wisdom and “plain advice” of this young man.

• Miles compared his life to a golfer swinging aimlessly at a bucket of golf balls, until only a few remain. “Now with just a handful left,” he wrote, “each swing becomes more meaningful.”
• “…remember how much fortune is going unaccounted or unrealized in your life, and more importantly, that that which seems terrible at the time may reveal itself in hindsight to have been a blessing. I have had a chance to be inspirational. Its not something most teenagers can lay claim to. Not because they are incapable of inspirational feats, but simply because most young people do not come across an opportunity to really show what they’re made of to inspire and teach others. Getting this chance, and from what I’ve been told, succeeding, has been a true privilege and an honor.”
• “It takes the darkest bleakest of human tribulations to bring out the best in us. It is in the face of hopelessness more than any other time that we unite and rally around what is really important.”

This was a boy who was wiser than his years. My advice today is that you visit Miles Levin’s Carepage, where his writings remain. Browse through them. There will surely be something that will impact you, and inspire you to not just live, but live well. In the process, you will be honoring Miles and all those children who suffer from incurable childhood diseases.

Note: When you click on the Carepage Link above, click on “Visit a Carepage”. You will be directed to do a quick (free) registration on the site. After registering, type in “Levinstory” to bring up Mile’s page.

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When I started working as a child welfare caseworker a little over 8 years ago, I remember feeling very uncomfortable about the fact that I was expected to make decisions that in my estimation should be left up to God. Decisions such as what family a child should be placed with for adoption. Or whether to give a chronic drug mom just one more chance. On a daily basis, questions like these come up as a part of my job.

I quickly learned that I did not want, nor was I expected, to make these decisions unilaterally. I came to see the great value in working as part of a team, and making decisions as a part of that group. I learned to give the best input I can, with the most accurate information possible. After doing this, I am able to relinquish control and leave the decisions to a power higher than myself, whether that be the team or a judge. I like this approach and find peace in doing things this way.

As I observe others in my position I see that some have not adopted the same attitude of being a team player. It never ceases to amaze me when I see a fellow worker refuse to abdicate an ounce of control to anybody else.

The people I am talking about seem to guard their authority with their lives. If they are out of the office, and somebody else makes a decision for them, they get mad, even if the decision is what they would have decided to do anyway.

I don’t understand how the people described above can feel comfortable about making such big decisions on their own. With a team approach, there are different knowledge bases, different points of view, and different checks and balances. I feel a sense of relief when working with a team on an important decision.

Control freaks are not limited to my line of work. You may even be one yourself (would you admit it if you were?)

If you have an insatiable need to be in charge, why not keep the following things in mind?

1. Giving up some control means less liability for you. In really sticky situations, I would much rather spread the responsibility around rather than take it all on my shoulders. Have you ever heard the term “safety in numbers?” Well, it applies here very well.

2. In talking about liability, I am not only talking about the potential for a lawsuit. I am also talking about making the best decision, that will have the best outcome.

In my job, I worry more about my moral and ethical liability rather than legal liability. When I make a decision solo, (without considering others point of view), and have a terrible outcome, sue me all you want but you couldn’t make me feel any worse. I truly believe that the more input you get and use from others, the better the end result is going to be.

2. You may be special, just like your mother says, but you are not indispensable. No matter how good you are at what you do, there is somebody else who could do it just as well, if not better. So get off that high horse and realize that the world really would be OK even if you weren’t around tomorrow.

3. Being controlling is a sign of insecurity. Confident people are able to take feedback and advice from others without feeling threatened or weak.

4. Save your competetive side for the basketball court, or the X-Box. Nobody likes being around somebody who has to make everything into a game they must win.

So, with all that being said, here’s to being a team player!

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As I mentioned in a previous post, I have had credit problems in the past.

After a few years of acting irresponsibly with money, I started to experience some unpleasant consequences. One of the first experiences hit home when I decided to move into my own apartment. I was still single, and up until that time, had always lived in student housing near my school. But as a new college graduate, I wanted to branch out and live on my own.

I went into the rental office of the apartment I decided on, and filled out an application. I received a sobering phone call a few days later; I did not qualify to rent because of some negative items on my credit report. Talk about humiliating. The only way I was able to get the apartment was by having someone co-sign with me.

Why Me?

The reason for my poor credit was due to some bad decisions, and negative patterns I established in college. By the time I graduated, I carried with me some debt that I got really good at avoiding. I dodged calls from creditors. I also became proficient at avoiding the mail they sent me, sometimes never even opening it. Out of sight, out of mind, right?

When the creditors did get a hold of me, they weren’t very nice. It got to the point that they were often unwilling to work with me because I had such a poor history of following through on payment arrangements. I would feel victimized and angry when I would get off the phone with them. Why were they picking on me ?

I’ll tell you why they were picking on me (its obvious, I know, but I really didn’t want to face it at the time)…

I owed them money, and I was not following the agreements I had made with them! They had every right to come after me with the phone calls, and I deserved the lack of trust they had in me. At that time in my life, I was not showing a whole lot of integrity or character when it came to my financial obligations.

Credit Defined

The concept of “credit” is simply a system that tags you as a person who can generally be trusted to follow through on your obligations, or not. The former has “good credit”, while the latter is considered to be a financial risk and liability (and therefore, carries “poor credit”).

It took me some time to realize what my credit problems were saying about me. It didn’t matter how dependable I was as a friend, or how great I was as an employee. All my creditors could see was the side of me that didn’t do what I agreed to do. And I was labeled as such.

My Motivation

When I came to understand that my bad credit was not only limiting me financially, but was actually earning me a label me as an unreliable, even dishonest person, I was spurred to change. Because at my core, I am a person of high integrity and I can be trusted.

I decided I wanted my credit to reflect who I really was, and am.

I know there are plenty of people out there who have poor credit due to circumstances beyond their control; divorce, death of a spouse, medical bills, identify theft, etc… If you are one of those individuals, maybe this article doesn’t apply to you.

But let’s get real. Are you really one that has had no control over your financial matters? Are you making excuses?

I was discussing these ideas with a friend of mine. We were disagreeing on the point that credit is usually a reflection on character. She said something along the lines of “I would pay my bills if I had the money”. She felt that the fact that she doesn’t have enough money to pay all her bills meant that she was off the hook when it came to the character issue.

The flaw in this way of thinking (and I told her so) is that if you are acting with honesty (to yourself and others), you won’t make financial commitments that you can’t afford to keep. So the fact that you can’t pay your credit card on time because you don’t have the money doesn’t mean that you are innocent of wrongdoing. It means that you made a promise without a way to follow through on it.

Understanding How the Creditor Feels

How would you feel if you went to work for somebody, but when payday arrived, your employer told you “I’m sorry, but I don’t have enough money so you won’t be getting paid”?.

You would be mad, and feel betrayed. You may be in financial crisis because you were expecting to receive that income. You wouldn’t care why your employer had no money. The fact that the employer is short on cash wouldn’t help the situation at all, no matter how sincere he was in his apologies. He made a commitment to you that he couldn’t keep! That is a seriously dishonest thing to do.

Even worse, imagine the above situation, but instead of telling you up front that you wouldn’t be paid, imagine that your employer couldn’t even be reached to explain where your (non-existent) paycheck was. What if she wouldn’t answer your calls and ignored any other attempts you made to communicate with her.

I imagine this is how it is for a creditor (on a different scale of course) who lends you money and then gets the shaft from you when it’s time to pay them back.

Getting to the Point

My point through all this is not to say that if you have bad credit you are a terrible person. I have had a bad credit history, and I am one of the best people I know!

My problem was that I was not not living congruently in all areas of my life. For me, coming to this realization motivated me to change my behaviors regarding credit.

If you have bad credit, take a good, hard (sometimes painful) look at yourself.

Who are you, really ?

Who do you want to be?

The wonderful thing about life is that you can change, and that is especially true when it comes to your credit. My credit has improved dramatically and continues to do so every time I keep my financial commitments. You can do it too.

Even more than the practical financial limitations your credit is having on your life, dig deeper to see what your credit might be saying about you . What you find could very well be the motivating factor in helping you change your financial behaviors for the better.

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If there is something I have learned over the past ten years since I met my husband, it is this: Relationships are full of ups and downs, and it’s OK.

At times, my marriage is full of romance, attraction, charm, beauty and a feeling that life could not be better or more fulfilling. I can see all those things in my husband that attracted me to him in the first place, and some new things I have found to respect in him along the way.

Then come the times that my overriding feelings are of irritation, anger, resentment, stress, disconnect, feeling as far away from the romance and charm as I can get.

Of course, there are in-between times too (this is the most common place to be).

All relationships are different. There are those occasional charmed couples who may not go through the peaks and valleys as described. However, if most people are honest with themselves, they know exactly what I am talking about.

The biggest difference between the marriages that last and those that fail is a single factor; those that make it are the ones that can recognize a bad spell for what it is… temporary. They hold out for the good times, which eventually do return.

I have spoken with those who, after divorcing have realized that no matter who they were with, marriage is hard. I have had more than one of these individuals tell me they wish they would have stuck with that marriage and worked things out, because the divorce itself caused so much heartache (especially where children were involved).

A study done by the Institute for American Values researched the question “Does Divorce Make People Happy?” . The study found, among other things that

• Unhappily married adults who divorced or separated were no happier, on average, than unhappily married adults who stayed married. Even unhappy spouses who had divorced and remarried were no happier, on average, than unhappy spouses who stayed married. This was true even after controlling for race, age, gender, and income.
• Two out of three unhappily married adults who avoided divorce or separation ended up happily married five years later
• Many currently happily married spouses have had extended periods of marital unhappiness, often for quite serious reasons, including alcoholism, infidelity, verbal abuse, emotional neglect, depression, illness, and work reversals. Why did these marriages survive where other marriages did not? The marital endurance ethic appears to play a big role. Many spouses said that their marriages got happier, not because they and their partner resolved problems but because they stubbornly outlasted them. With time…many sources of conflict and distress eased.

If you have time, I encourage you to visit the Institute for American Values website and review the complete findings from the study cited above.

My advice? If you are experiencing unhappiness in your marriage, realize that there are better days ahead. Remember the good times, and have faith that they will come around again. Be patient and work to create those better times. The good times will be even sweeter when you get there.

Disclaimer: I am not talking about abusive relationships…those who are in an abusive cycle should not expect that things will get better. Over time, things typically only get worse. If you are in such a relationship, be careful, and seek professional help.

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Maria over at Never the Same River Twice has asked me to write 8 Random Facts About Me. So here goes!

1- I love to vacuum (I think it’s the instant gratification of seeing something go from dirty to clean).

2- I once rode a bull (for about 3 seconds).

3- I love garlic bread with jam…(it’s a family thing… you should try it! The mixture of salt/savory and sweet is to die for!)

4- I am a ketchup freak… I love it on just about anything (especially tacos).

5- On the day I graduated from college, I won $500 from a local radio station (pure coincidence… but it sure made a nice graduation gift!).

6- I love, love, love autumn. The crisp air and leaves turning colors never fail to put me in a good mood.

7- I have had an insatiable craving for banana pudding lately (you know, the kind with cool whip, bananas and vanilla wafers. Yum!) I haven’t had it in years so I don’t know where this is coming from!

8- Whenever I watch a movie about ballroom dancing, for days after I wish wish wish I could dance like that and have a body like that. (think Vanessa Williams in Dance With Me).

So there you go!

Now, it’s my turn to tag some fellow bloggers to share their own randomness!

• Pam at Mothers Against Blogging
• Jen at Jenny’s Blog
• Food Inspector, Cook and Chef at Big Bowl of Soup
• Aymee at My RAD Kid
• The Closet Millionaire at Millionaire Mommy Next Door
• Jay at Dumb Little Man

Thanks for stopping by…

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Do you have a “junk drawer?” If not, you may have a junk basket, or some other type of container that holds those things that I am going to talk about.

What exactly do you find in a junk drawer? That is a question that will never have the same answer from home to home. But a generalized way of describing the contents are: Odds and ends that you occasionally use, things you may use sometime in the future, or items you are afraid to throw away because you are not sure if they are important or not (think a random key).

Most of these items are a nuisance and create some confusion when you try to clean up. Here is where the junk drawer comes in! You compartmentalize your clutter and feel better about the fact that you don’t know where to put the stuff, because now it has a home! Some examples of things typically found in my junk drawer are tape, random spools of thread, paper clips, safety pins, stapler, bobby pins, rubber bands, screwdriver, nail clippers, thermometer…

OK, I guess I should pause here to admit that most of these things do have a home, other than the junk drawer. The toolbox, office, sewing kit…

But I know I’m not the only one who finds it difficult to keep them all in their rightful places. They just never seem to get put away. And if I do put it away, I often regret not having it in close range because I find myself needing it again.

A junk drawer is not a bad thing. As a space that is designed (or not) to hold nothing in particular, it provides for a bit of controlled chaos in an otherwise (mostly) organized home.

The problem with the junk drawer for me is that it ends up collecting layers of “stuff”, and becomes a frustrating mess when I do go looking for that random item that ends up there.

A few months ago, a friend told me about a friend of hers who had found a different way to manage the junk. Finally, a solution! A simple, affordable solution at that.

It is an over the door shoe holder, or similar apparatus. I bought mine at Wal-Mart for about $7. There were more expensive models, but I chose the one I did because the pockets are made of clear plastic. I wanted to be able to see my junk.

I hung this puppy up (it took about 10 seconds… even the most amateur home organizer can do this), took my junk basket (substitute for the junk drawer since we moved into a home that has a lack of drawer space). Within minutes, the “junk” was organized into the pockets. And ~wallah~ it is no longer junk. It is now a collection of random, useful items that I can find easily anytime the need arises.

I considered putting labels on each pocket, signifying where each thing belonged. But then I decided against it. I can just see how irritating it would be when my 5 year old, who is just learning to read, would put the “scissors” into the “stapler” pocket. Even worse, when my husband, who is nearing completion of a Master’s Degree, (… he can definitely read!) would totally disregard my labels and mix it all up.

So, the labels are definitely not something that would work for me. I am enjoying the flexibility and small bit of chaos as I look at my wonderfully organized junk drawer that is hanging on my laundry room door.

Do you have any tips on decluttering, or home organization? Please, share by leaving a comment.

Thanks for stopping by!

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Immigration. A hot topic indeed.

Up until now, I have quietly sat through many discussions, debates (or whatever you want to call them) between family, friends, politicians, talk show hosts, etc. I have felt swayed by both sides of the debate because both are right some of the time. I have deliberately avoided standing on one side or another, because the issue is so broad, and I have felt a need to know more facts before I could draw my conclusions and form an solid opinion.

Today I was talking to a young man I know. Lets say his name is David. He is a young college student, as is his girlfriend, Isabel. They are both freshman this year. Both of them have lofty goals and big dreams about their futures. They both want, more than anything, to become self sufficient, well educated members of society.

David comes from a lower income family, so he has applied for and received some government scholarships and grants that cover many of his college expenses. He lives at home and is able to focus primarily on his coursework because of the financial aid he is receiving. David is also eligible to receive federal student loans, although he is hoping to avoid this.

Isabel is in a different boat. She too comes from a lower income family. However, 16 years ago (when she was 2 years old), her parents decided, for one reason or another, to pack up and move from Mexico to the U.S. They did not have the valid paperwork to do so , and therefore, have been illegally living and working in the U.S. all this time.

Isabel works long hours at a local restaurant, sometimes at the expense of her schoolwork. However, the only way she is able to go to school is if she pays her own way. Her parents are unable to help her due to their own financial problems. The fact that she has a job at all is very tentative, because really, she is not legally permitted to work in this country. She has been lucky to find an employer who has either not checked into her status, or has chosen to overlook it. But this could change any time.

Isabel is a motivated, intelligent young woman. She is, however, constantly plagued by the fact that she is an illegal member of the society she has grown up in. She is not only disqualified from the benefits of things such as help with college, but she also has to constantly live in fear that if exposed, she could be deported away from all that she knows.

The main thing that stands out to me in this particular situation is that Isabel is being held captive by the choices her parents made when she was only a toddler.

The only way Isabel can change her immigration status would be to marry a U.S. citizen. Although David can do this for her, and they will probably be married one day, it should not be something she has to think or worry about right now. She is only 18 years old, and should not be making such lifelong decisions based on the legal problems that she has no control over.

Children should not have to pay such a high price for the sins of their parents. There are millions of others like Isabel living in the U.S… children and young adults who never had a say in being made “illegal” in the only country they have ever known.

What is the right thing to do for these children of immigrants? Set aside the politics and think about it in your heart.

Too many people get caught up in a power struggle when it comes to immigration issues. Those are the ones that want to teach those illegals a lesson, not letting them get away with breaking the law.

I am not saying that the laws aren’t important, or that they shouldn’t be enforced. I am saying that the children of illegal immigrants have done nothing to break the law. They had no choice in the matter.

Therefore, more and more, I am coming to the conclusion that amnesty is the best and only option for the illegal immigrants who are already here, and have been here for some time. The otherwise law abiding people who are working to have a better life. It is the only humane thing to do, if only for their children.

Secure the borders, make it more difficult to come in from this point on. But make things right for the people who are already here. They are, after all, people, just like you and me. Their children deserve to have a shot at the future, just like your children and mine.

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About 7 years ago, when I was getting ready to marry my (now) husband, I was anticipating the difficulties we would face as being interracial, intercultural, and a blended family on top of it all. I was reading a lot, trying to learn as much as I could about how to make my marriage a success. I found many helpful ideas, but one book, by far, stuck out to me then and now. “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman had a lasting impact on me. I have referred back to it many times during my marriage, and have also referred friends to read it that were struggling in their own relationships. The concepts in the book are simple yet powerful.

The basic premise is that there are different ways that people give and receive love. The author refers to these different approaches as “emotional languages”, and points out that they can be as different as English and Chinese. The languages fall into 5 basic categories. They are:

1. Words of Affirmation
2. Quality Time
3. Receiving Gifts
4. Acts of Service
5. Physical Touch

Individuals favor one or two ways they express and receive love for a myriad of reasons. Many times, problems in relationships stem from the fact that those involved do not speak or recognize the love language of the other. Therefore, although each partner may be trying sincerely to express love to the other, one or both may feel unloved due to a lack of understanding.

This can be compared to trying to communicate with somebody who speaks Portuguese using English words. It is not until you learn some Portuguese, or they learn some English, or you both learn some words in each others language, that you will be able to understand each other.

For example, my primary love languages are quality time and words of affirmation, while my husband receives love more through acts of service. In fact, Jorge doesn’t receive love much at all through words of affirmation,and sometimes becomes annoyed at receiving too many compliments or praise. However, if I make efforts to cook him his favorite meal or do something for him unexpectedly, this gives him the feeling that I love him.

By knowing how Jorge and I differ in our love languages, we are better able to show love to each other, and also recognize and appreciate when the other is trying in their own language to express those feelings.

The book has sections that can help you identify your own love language and that of your partner. The good news is, it is never too late to learn how to speak and act in ways that will show your partner you love him/her by learning to speak their love language.

There are many free resources at the Five Love Languages website that can help you learn more about the languages and how being aware of them can strengthen your relationships.

The book can be purchased by clicking on the link below.

The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate

Here is your chance to learn another language!

Let me know what you think by leaving a comment. Thanks for stopping by!

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I am one of the lucky people whose mom and dad are still married to each other. In fact, today is their 36th wedding anniversary… (Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad!) so in honor of this special day, I am going to share some of the things I have learned about marriage from them.

1- Happily married people don’t always agree. Growing up, I saw only subtle disagreements between my parents (a look my mom would give my dad, things like that)… they did a great job of keeping their arguments to themselves (I never appreciated how hard this is until I became a parent).

But as an adult, it has been important for me to know that my parents have their differences, and it’s ok… they are still happy.

2- It’s perfectly normal and healthy for happily married people to pursue their own interests and have some independence from each other. But at the end of the day (or the business trip), home is where the heart is.

3- Divorce is not an option. At least, it never has been for my parents. The day I got married, my mom gave me the advice to never even joke about divorce. She had been given this same advice when she was newly married, and following it has served my parents well. When you start talking about divorce in any context, it is more likely to become an option, instead of finding ways to work through the problems you are having.

4- Small gestures matter. Like when my dad wrote, as his New Years resolution “make Pam happy”. Or the sweet cards he gives her on special occasions (I am nosy and usually end up reading them, if they are sitting around).

Or how, when my dad is coming home from a business trip, my mom goes out and stocks up on all his favorite foods.

And you can’t leave out the importance of pet names… to dad, my mom is “pambone” or “my sweet baboo” (don’t ask).

5- Make sure to have alone time. When us kids were young, my parents were consistent about going on dates and spending time by themselves. I remember being mad sometimes that they wouldn’t take me to the movies with them! Now that I am married with kids, I can see how important it was that they made time to do that.

Even now, when Dad comes home from a business trip (after being away for months at a time) I usually don’t see too much of them at all… because they are busy being together.

6- Taking care of yourself is good for your marriage. As you can see in the picture below, both of my parents are active, healthy, EXTREMELY attractive people

How does this help their marriage? Duh. I’m not even gonna go there…

7- Trust, and be worthy of the trust of your spouse. In the past few years, my parents have spent a lot of time apart because of my dad’s job. They are separated for months at a time, and trust is a very important part of their success.

8- (Last, but perhaps most important)… I grew up with the belief that marriage lasts. It is stable and reliable, and doesn’t change with the wind. This is a legacy that I want my children to witness and learn from my marriage, the same way I learned it from my parents.

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad! Thanks for giving me what so many people are missing… parents who still love each other!

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Anybody who knows me well could tell you that I am an avid fan of Celine Dion. It’s true. There is something about her voice that really gets to me. She is one talented senorita.

My affinity for Celine started about 10 years ago. It’s funny, because it was my husband that had a few of her CD’s we would listen to together… with time, some of her songs became “our” songs. Maybe part of my love for Celine’s music has something to do with those early days of our relationship when I was falling in love with Jorge. Beautiful sappy sweetness.

When I was pregnant with my first child, Celine had just given birth to her son. Her lullaby album “Miracle” touched me deeply as the lyrics turned toward her love and hopes for her child. I could identify because I felt the exact same things about my new little baby boy. Many times I would listen to that CD in my car and end up with tears streaming down my face at the sheer joy of being a mother. Beautiful music has a way of bringing those kinds of feelings right up to the surface of my soul.

For our 4th wedding anniverary, Jorge and I took a trip to Las Vegas and went to Celine’s show, “A New Day” in the Colliseum at Caesar’s Palace. It was fantastic. Celine was even more talented in person. I remember as she finished the encore, I was terribly disappointed that the show was over. It had flown by so fast.

The next morning, Jorge and I visited the Celine Dion Boutique in Caesar’s Palace, and bought a few souveniers. One of them was an autobiography of Celine. As we travelled home from Vegas, I read the entire book.

As I read I was impressed with several things about Celine.

First, she decided at a young age that she was going to promote her talent, not her body and/or sex. If you look at Celine Dion, she has always had a classiness and integrity about her that most female singers today don’t have. She is clean and refreshing.

Celine is very family oriented. She grew up in tight knit clan, and she continues to be very close to them. Her marriage to her manager, Rene’ Angelil is often criticized because of their extreme difference in age (he is much older than her)… I myself thought their relationship odd until I read the autobiography.

Celine adores Rene’, and he adores her. A particularly touching part of the story was a few years back when Rene’ was diagnosed with cancer. Celine took a complete break from singing to spend every moment at his side. Miraculously, he recovered. Celine expresses in her book that she will never take one moment with him for granted after a scare like that. He is the only man she has been with and I would be very surprised if they ever split up. Celine is one of the few superstars out there who seems to cherish marriage.

For the past 6 years or so, since little Charles was born, Celine’s maternal side has surfaced. She adores her son… the main reason she cites for signing a long term contract in Las Vegas was to provide stability for her child. Another priority for her was being able to spend time with him. Her contract only required her to work at night, when he was sleeping. So instead of jetting around here, there and everywhere, little Charles actually has a place that he can call home.

Something else about this celebrity is that you will rarely, if ever, see Celine Dion mentioned in the tabloids. You know that if there was anything scandalous going on with her, the paparazzi would have caught on.

Many of todays talent starts out OK, but as they climb the ladder of fame and fortune, their clothes get smaller, as do their values and morals. Drugs and sex are the name of the game. Look at Britney Spears. A few years ago, Britney was bright eyed and had a lot to say about the things her mother had taught her. Look at her today. The sad thing is, there are so many others like her.

So what is my advice in all this?

Even if you don’t particularly like Celine, it’s OK (really! Although I seriously have to wonder why)

Find and support talented people who inspire and uplift you.

Share those things with your children. Teach them to appreciate the beauty and value of a really good singer, an amazingly talented piano player, or whatever it is that expands you and makes you want to be better.

Help the children around you learn that people with values and integrity can be and are very successful.

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