Plain Advice

I am a walking contradiction. I have an official diagnosis of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), which is widely known for its very organized and clean tendencies. And in some situations I am very organized (and almost always very clean). But in many many ways I am a disorganized mess. I won’t try to explain my theory on my inconsistency here (I’ll save that for another post), but I do want to share a very simple organization tool that I recently rediscovered.

It is so simple that it is almost embarassing. Anybody who can write can implement it.  What is the tool you ask? A running “to do” list. 

Almost too simple to discuss.  But sometimes, the simple ways of doing things are the most powerful.  And sometimes, tweaking something just a little bit makes it exponentially more useful.

At work, especially, I am bombarded with endless tasks (as a social worker, I am constantly receiving new information about my cases that need follow up). In my 8 years at this work, I have not found a satisfactory way to keep track of all these things that need to be done. I have tried different approaches, but often the methods were too complicated or time consuming for me to sustain.

Last week I was feeling particularly overwhelmed and frustrated at my lack of organization. So I pulled out a legal pad and made a list of all the things in my brain that needed to get done. It turned out to be a pretty long list. For the next several days, each time I wondered what to do next, I looked at the list. I was able to redirect myself and remember what I needed to be doing. While talking on the phone (which always creates more work for me) I would just jot down reminders to myself on this list.  Not on sticky notes, which tend to get shuffled around and lost.  But on my legal pad that I had right there at my desk (I now prefer the legal pad because I can fit so many more items on one page due to the length of the paper).  That way, it is there, at the center of my work.  

In the past, my to do list wasn’t as effective as it could have been because I tried to take it with me everywhere I went.  It usually ended up lost in the bottom of my bag, or not there at the very moment I needed it, which is usually when I am at my desk.   I tried keeping the list electronically, but because I dropped my Palm Pilot and lost all my data on more than one occasion, I decided that paper is for me when it comes to important details.

The best thing about this very basic way of doings things?  My productivity went way up. And my anxiety level went way down.

At the end of the workday, before leaving the office, I can look at my list and feel confident that all the urgent items for the day have been crossed off.  Which means that when I get home, I am home and don’t have that nagging feeling that something was left undone.  I can also get a glimpse of what I need to be prepared for the next day.

When the list outgrows the paper, I just transfer all the items that are not yet done to another page and then start fresh from there. 

With my list in front of me, I don’t need to remember so many details.  Seeing the whole list on one page (remember, legal pad) makes me feel more in control and aware of the big picture of what I need to do.   I don’t have to go looking in different places for all the things that I need to get my tasks done (such as fax and phone numbers). Another perk of this approach is that when an intern or assistant asks if there is anything I need help with, I can turn to my list and immediately delegate a task. Without having things written all in one place, I never knew offhand what I could ask someone else to do. So I ended up doing it all myself (and usually at the last minute).

My advice to you is obvious… if you are struggling with being disorganized, use a running to do list.  If you have tried it in the past unsuccessfully, try it again.  Look for small ways to improve your system to work more efficiently.  Get back to the basics.  It just might be your ticket to being more in control of your life.

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I wrote an article a few weeks ago about how, after 2 years of being severely dependent on nasal spray, I was able to free myself from this nuisance. It was through the Rhinostat system that I was able to do this.

I am writing this article to give more detailed information on this product which has truly given me back my life (or at least, a functioning nose). Rhinostat system is an effective way to treat rebound congestion associated with prolonged nasal spray usage.

Rebound Congestion

The active ingredient in over the counter nasal sprays is a topical vasoconstrictor that temporarily reduces the size of the nasal turbinates, opens the nasal airway and provides decongestant relief from congestion. These sprays are very effective at relieving nasal congestion during the common cold, and also during bouts of nasal allergies.

The recommended period of time for using nasal sprays is up to 3 days. Using past this period of time will typically result in rebound congestion.

Topical nasal sprays act as an agonist to sympathetic a1 receptors in the blood vessels of the nose, signaling those vessels to contract. By decreasing blood flow to the lining of the nose, the tissue becomes less congested and mucous production is slowed.

After several days use of nasal spray products, the receptors become unregulated, requiring more frequent and higher doses to prevent the rebound congestion that results when the medicine wears off.

Rebound congestion causes extreme discomfort (I can attest to this). Because the nasal mucosa becomes abnormally swollen and enlarged, the nasal airway becomes completely blocked. This discomfort is relieved by the administration of another dose of nasal spray. As soon as the temporary effect of the last dose of spray wears off, another dose of spray is required to provide relief. This is how the nasal spray addiction is born.

Implications for the Addict

Nasal spray use is not a pretty sight. Most people are not comfortable snorting spray in front of people. For this reason, the nasal spray addict often develops secrecy around their addiction. They excuse themselves from social settings, wake up in the middle of the night and learn how to integrate the use of the sprays into their daily routines, in solitude.

Like any other addiction, it is very important to those addicted to spray to have it readily available. They keep a bottle of Afrin in their pocket or purse, their nightstand, glove box, backpack, briefcase and anywhere else necessary to ensure that it is readily available when needed. Most nasal spray addicts know every retail store in their neighborhood that carries the product.

Some people continue in their nasal spray addiction for years, even for the rest of their lives (On the Rhinostat website, there are reports of people that have been addicted to nose spray for over 40 years!).

Different Types of Treatment

The only way to break the cycle is to quit using the spray. This can be done in two ways, often referred to as “going off cold turkey” or “weaning”.

Going cold turkey, or all at once, is extremely uncomfortable, and can last for 4-7 days before the nose starts to funcion normally again. Typicall, physician’s advise patients to use the cold turkey method to brek the addiction. This was the advice my own doctor gave me. However, I was never able to motivate myself to live through the misery. There was never a convenient time for me to lose excessive amounts of sleep or go through the days not being able to breathe through my nose (I can’t imagine it would ever be convenient to anyone).

The biggest key to helping people successfully get off nasal spray is to help them minimize the discomfort while doing so. Rhinostat has developed an extremely effective way of doing this. While “cold turkey” was for so long considered to be the only way to get off nasal spray, Rhinostat came up with a way to gradually wean the patient off the stuff. Because the change is gradual, the discomfort is minimal and completely manageable.

How Rhinostat Works

The Rhinostat system is based on the method of “dosage titration”. This method allows for gradual & comfortable withdrawal from decongestants while maintaining nasal inspiratory flow.

Rhinostat kits are individually formulated for each rhinitis medicamentosa patient, depending upon the active compound in the decongestant nasal spray the patient is currently addicted to. Rhinostat provides the user with an apparatus that allows them to progressively reduce the concentration of the active compound in their decongestant. Depending upon the particular brand or type of spray, this will either be:

Oxymetazoline hcl (Most Common in USA)
Phenylepherine hcl (Second Most Common in USA)
Xylometazoline hcl (Most Common in Europe, Canada, Australia)
Naphazoline hcl (Rare in USA, more common in Asia)

Rhinostat apparatus

The Rhinostat apparatus is comprised of two bottles. The first bottle (dispenser bottle) contains a decongestant nasal spray formulation identical to the user’s current decongestant spray (based upon one of

the compounds listed above). The Rhinostat diluent solution (second bottle) is identical to the decongestant nasal spray formulation, without the active ingredient (vehicle placebo). The Rhinostat apparatus allows these two solutions to be precisely combined, thereby giving the user control of the dosage strength. The target rate of reduction (dosage titration) is 15% per day.

Dropper Bottle vs Spray Bottle

One issue that I had with the Rhinostat system was the method of medication delivery. The system comes with a dropper bottle instead of the spray bottle that I was accustomed to. Rhinostat reports that a spray bottle is not used in their kit because the titration is difficult to measure in such an apparatus.

I attempted to use the spray via dropper, but I was unsuccessful. I could not do it without getting the compound down my throat, which was very uncomfortable. This problem, in fact, caused me to procrastinate using the Rhinostat system for several months. Since then, I have also read accounts of others who have had the same problem.

The solution I found took a little more time, but it was worth the results. I simply used an empty spray bottle (I had no problem finding one of those around my house!) Every morning, I would pour the solution to the Rhinostat dropper bottle, add the appropriate amount of saline solution, and then I would put the compound back into my spray bottle. This way, I was able to use the spray comfortably as I was used to doing.

Rhinostat Disclaimer

Although Rhinostat is an effective method of weaning off nasal spray, its effectiveness is dependent on several key factors. The Rhinostat method is most effective for those patients who have no other underlying medical or physiologic conditions contributing to their rebound congestion (such as allergies or a deviated septum.) Patients who do have allergies that are contributing to their rebound congestion should consider discussing with their physicians the use of intranasal steroids along with Rhinostat.

Customer Service

The Rhinostat system worked for me on my first try. However, if for some reason your treatment fails on the first try, they will send you a second kit for free. An example of why the kit may not work the first time around is if you develop a cold while you are trying to wean from the medication.

The cost of a kit of Rhinostat is currently $35.00.

Rhinostat is also offering kits for free as a way to get the word of their product out to medical professionals. On their website they will direct you as to how you can get your free kit by going through your doctor. Therefore, even if you cannot afford Rhinostat, you can still try it.

Conclusion

If you are suffering from nasal spray addiction, you know how frustrating and inconvenient it is. I just got back from a camping trip with my family. While I was there, I thought back to last summer, and realized that we did not go camping at all. It may sound crazy, but a large part of why was because of my nasal spray addiction. At that time I was waking up every night, sometimes multiple times, and using nasal spray just to sleep comfortably. The thought of doing so while sleeping in a tent, waking everybody up while looking for nasal spray, walking to a bathroom or at least away from the tent in the dark by myself (again to avoid waking everybody up with my snorting) was very unappealing.

I cannot tell you how great it feels to be free from nasal spray. After the first week of using Rhinostat, I was amazed at the change in my life. And the process of weaning off the spray was painless. At times I would feel anxious, worried that I was going to experience discomfort, but as I used the system I found that there was no reason to worry. I know it sounds silly, but this is not an exaggeration.

I also recommend that if you have questions about Rhinostat , their website is very useful and informative.

Lastly, if you have experienced nasal spray addiction, or have kicked the nasal spray habit, please share your story by leaving a comment.

Thanks for stopping by, and happy breathing!

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Yesterday in my office… I’m a social worker by day… I was buried in paperwork and plugging along on my computer. I tried to get on the internet but as soon as I typed anything into the browser, I got that dreaded error message “Internet Explorer has encountered a problem and needs to close. We are sorry for the inconvenience”. I tried a few more times, and the same thing happened. Yeah, yeah. Enough with the apologies.

So I picked up the phone and dialed tech support.

We have really great computer whizzes in our office. I have never been down to the basement where they are stationed, but I always imagine that it is a concrete room with lots of wires and computer equipment everywhere (see picture below).

The tech who answered my call listened as I told him the problem. He asked if my computer was on, and I said yes. Within a split second, something took possession of my screen. It was a little freakish and then I realized it was only him, accessing my computer remotely.

I was intrigued as I watched computer guy go through and try to find the problem on my device. He would open and close windows faster than you can say “laptop”. He would click on things and speak as he went, as if I could understand a single thing he was talking about. He would point to a string of letters, punctuation and numbers and say “see how nonsensical this file is? It looks suspicious to me”. I would verbally agree with him, but on the inside I was thinking that it looked about as suspicious as the UPC barcode on a bag of chips.

After watching computer guy delete, update, install, uninstall and reinstall things for about 45 minutes, I finally said “how do you figure out what is wrong?” (he still hadn’t identified what was going on).

He explained “when you look for a computer problem, you have to first determine whether it is equipment/hard drive related, or if the malady is more of an issue in the registry and/or files”.

Now it was clear as mud. What is a registry? The only thing that comes to mind is the one stop shopping sensation, Super Target, where I have gone many times to buy gifts from bridal and baby registries. Somehow, I didn’t think that was what he meant.

I must have been giving off a confused aura, because he decided to make an analogy that he thought I, as a social worker, could relate to. He said the hard drive/equipment would be like identifying a physical problem in a person, where a registry/file problem would be more like an emotional problem.

When he said this, I wanted to burst out in laughter. Was he telling me that my computer may have an emotional problem? Yeah, that is just what I need. A computer that needs therapy. Somehow, when I log onto my computer each day, I enjoy that it is not a person and not in crisis. I thought I was safe from these things in computerland.

But he was serious, and he continued to talk about this analogy for a long time.

Finally, after about 2 hours (yes, 2 hours…) computer guy said “done”. He had me try the internet and it was working like a charm. He apologized for taking so long, but I was just so happy that my computer had regained it’s sanity. 2 hours is not a long time compared to the years it takes some people to work out their issues in therapy.

My advice? None for now. I just wanted to share this heartwarming story.

If you are computer savvy, please excuse my complete ignorance if I used the wrong words or terms in this article. I am just going off what I remember from computer guy.

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On a recent Wednesday, I woke up and went downstairs. My husband had already left for work (normal). However, when I came to the kitchen table, I found a note (not normal) which read

I love all of you. I am nothing without you. Please be kind to each other. Love, Dad

My initial reaction was “hmmm, that’s weird”, but after that first feeling, I just thought it was sweet. So on I went with my day.

I went to work, and didn’t hear from Jorge all morning (normal… he’s a teacher). Then I got pretty busy at work in the afternoon, and didn’t realize until about 4:00 that I still had not talked to him all day. I tried calling his cell phone but he didn’t answer (normal). He never returned my calls (not normal).

I was on the phone with my mom around 5, and I mentioned to her the note Jorge left that morning. I told her I hadn’t been able to get a hold of him and she got a worried sound in her voice. This made me worry. She asked that I call her when I heard from him.

Around the same time, I called home and talked to my teenagers. They said they hadn’t heard from dad all day, and were a little freaked out. Usually, he shows up around lunch time if only for a few minutes. My 18 year old’s reaction to the note was “dad left a suicide note”. I reassured them that dad was fine and I was sure we would hear from him soon. But I was not so sure myself.

Let me digress and explain my concern. I wasn’t worried that Jorge had or ever would kill himself. He just loves himself too much to do such a thing. He is also not the selfish type that would off himself and leave his family behind to deal with the aftermath. It’s just not him.

However, the note was TOTALLY out of the ordinary. So my concern started to be along the lines of “what if he had a premonition that he was going to die today, and therefore left us the note as comfort when he was gone”. I know it sounds far out there, but that was seriously what I was starting to fear when I couldn’t reach him.

By 7:00 everybody was in a panic. I called home and nobody answered. I called my 16 year old daughter on her cell phone. She said that she and her sister had left the house because they got scared of what might have happened to dad (not sure how leaving the house helped, but hey, they are teenagers). I said I would be right home.

I found out when I got to the house that some of Jorge’s friends had come by to pick him up for a golfing appointment. Another cause for concern that he wasn’t there for that.

My mom called me about the same time to ask if I had heard from my husband. I told her I hadn’t, and she said she was going to call him herself. No luck, he didn’t answer for her either. I tried calling a few of Jorge’s friends but couldn’t get a hold of any of them.

Finally, I remembered that it was the night that Jorge normally holds a meeting for his soccer league. I jumped in my car and drove over to where the meeting is typically held. By this time I was frantic. All the “what ifs” were going through my head, and I was scared. The fact that we bought a pretty decent life insurance policy last year didn’t comfort me. I was thinking about how sad life would be for my kids without their dad. I was thinking about how sad my life would be without my husband.

When I drove up to the meeting place, I spotted Jorge’s car. That was a relief, but still, I was in panic mode. I marched in, past a few people, to the room where the meeting is held. I walked through the door and found Jorge in the front of the room, leading the meeting. I asked him to step out into the hallway. My intention was to chastise him severely for leaving that note, and for not calling all day.

However, when we stepped into the hall, my anger gave way to tears and I hugged him tight. He looked confused. Then my anger returned. I said “now that I know you’re alive, I’m going to kill you”. I asked why he hadn’t gone home for lunch. Running errands. Me: “You missed your golf appointment” … Him: “I forgot”. I asked why nobody had been able to get a hold of him all day. He held up his phone rather sheepishly and said it hadn’t been working… He also said he had tried to call me and our 16 year old daughter but had never gotten through. He told me to check my caller ID, but that wasn’t necessary really. I was just so glad to see that he was alive and well. And the love note really was just a love note. A sweet, thoughtful note.

In light of this experience, it would be wise to consider the following advice:

1. Be very careful about leaving the occasional love note. If it is out of character for you to do such a thing, leave a post script on your note, clarifying your intentions in writing the letter.

2. On the day you leave the note, make sure you are available by phone.

3. If you must leave a note, don’t miss appointments that day. And stick to your normal schedule.

4. On the other hand, there is some value that can be gained from scaring your family into thinking they might have lost you. It may have the effect of reminding them, and you, just how much they love you.

Lastly,

5. If you are wondering if your spouse wants you dead for the purpose of collecting your life insurance, this may be the way to find out how s/he really feels.

• If she seems disappointed to see you alive and well, you have a problem and should probably watch your back.
• If she is genuinely happy to see you, assume that you are worth more to her than all that money she stands to get when you are gone.

Have a comment? We love feedback!

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To be honest, even though I followed my weight loss plan this past week (thank goodness I am back on the wagon!) I didn’t really expect to lose at my Thursday weigh in. I expected that my little dieting “detour” was going to keep showing up for this week, and maybe then I would start losing. So I was pleasantly surprised when I saw that I had lost 1.8 lbs. If you recall, that is exactly how much I had gained last week, so now I am back at where I started before I got off track.

I don’t have any epiphanies regarding weight loss to share at the moment. Sometimes, you just have to keep going along doing what you know you need to do and that is all. That is exactly what I am doing, and so far, so good.

Thanks for stopping by!

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As a child welfare worker of 8 years, I have compiled a list of things to do if you no longer wish to parent your children. Maybe you are tired and just need a break. Or maybe you want to move forward with your life, without children holding you back from what you really want to do. So here it is!

1. Leave the door unlocked, or open, and take a long, long nap while your 2 year old is allowed to wander the neighborhood. This one works best if you are not the type of person who knows your neighbors, and your kid is non-verbal. This way, nobody can figure out where your child lives. 
2. If you have any type of mental illness that is being treated, stop the treatments. Be sure not to follow any of your treating doctors recommendations. In fact, stop seeing the professional altogether. Things will probably unravel pretty quickly.
3. If you are a single mom, look for the creepiest guy in the neighborhood and then start dating him. Marry him. Don’t be surprised when you find out he has been molesting your kids. When your kids tell you this is happening, tell them you don’t believe them. Let them tell their friend or teacher, so it can get back to the authorities.
4. Do drugs while you are pregnant, so your baby will test positive at birth.  The more addictive the drugs,  the better.  It tends to get people super upset when they see a baby going through drug withdrawals at such a tender young age.
5. Do lots and lots of drugs, with your kids right there in the room. Better yet, do drugs with your kids (someone has to teach them, right? Why not you?). While you are at it, teach your teenage daughter how to prostitute to pay for the drugs.
6. If you really want your kids taken away in a hurry, methamphetamine labs in particular tend to alarm the authorities. Something about how they can explode and kill a child at any given point in time. Not to mention their incredible amount of toxicity.
7. Hit your kids, and do it hard enough to leave a mark. Several bruises in differing phases of healing will make the social workers feel even stronger about taking your child. Or bones that have broken and healed at different rates.
8. Fight violently with your significant other while your children are home. If you aren’t the type to be aggressive, find a partner who is, and let them hit you, push you down, call you degrading names, etc. Make sure your children see this kind of stuff happening. No matter what anyone says about how dangerous this relationship is, keep going back and trying to work things out with this person.
9. Don’t clean your house. Ever. If you have pets, don’t house train them. Make sure there are feces on the floor, where your baby needs to crawl to get anywhere. Leave food out on the counters so that rodents will frequent your kitchen.
10. Don’t do the basic things you should be doing for your kid. Make sure not to get them to school, doctors, dentists. Don’t feed them, don’t do their laundry, don’t help with homework, don’t nurture them, don’t supervise them… this approach may take longer, but eventually somebody will notice that your kids are being neglected.

OK, that’s the end of the list.   Now you know what 8 years of working in child welfare will do to you.

Just as a disclaimer, NO I am not seriously suggesting that you do any of the things listed above. Sadly, most of these do happen to children on a regular basis, which is why the job of a child welfare worker is never done.

Seriously, if you are struggling as a parent, there are ways to get help that don’t involve hurting or neglecting your children. For support and ideas, visit Prevent Child Abuse America, or call 1-800-CHILDREN.

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I want to talk about money. I have had some significant problems in this area of my life, and I have learned quite a few things. I am still not where I want to be financially, but I am in a better place than I was even a year ago. So I want to talk about some of the issues I have faced, and what I have done to resolve them. I want to share the things that have and haven’t worked for me.

This topic will most definitely have to be presented in a series, because there are so many subtopics to be addressed. So be aware that this post is only the beginning of many articles sharing my ideas and experiences regarding money.

My Background

First of all, let me give some background. I was raised in an upper middle class family. My father is a lawyer. For as long as I can remember, he has worked as a court administrator. We were not “rich”, but he brought home a decent salary and there was never any financial stress that I was aware of growing up. If we needed something, we always had it. If we really, really wanted something, we usually had it also. My parents talk about being poor when they were students, and living on army rations that my grandparents gave to them. I was five when my dad graduated from law school, but I don’t remember anything like that.

Even though my dad made good money, I was not spoiled in the sense that I didn’t know how to work for things. I had a job starting at the age of 14. I worked as a courtesy clerk in a grocery store, and eventually became a cashier. The money I made was mine to use as I wanted. Of course my parents encouraged me to save money and be frugal, but I don’t think I actually ever saved any significant amounts.

When I turned 18, I went away to college. The first year, my parents paid all my expenses. For my second, third and fourth years, they paid my tuition and books, and I got a job to pay for my rent, food, and other living expenses.

My financial problems started early on in college. Looking back at how easy I had things financially as a student, I regret many of the unwise choices I made regarding money. There are two mistakes I made while in college that I can see contributed significantly to my financial problems:

1. When I received offers for credit cards in the mail, I took them. I used the cards as if they were free money. I did not really take into account how I would pay them off as I used them.

Because the cards had low limits, I felt they were manageable. I got 3 or 4 cards that I used regularly when I was in school. Each card had a limit of approximately $500, which I regularly maxed out.

These cards are not a direct problem for me now (they are long gone), but with them I created a pattern where I was using credit for unnecessary purchases, and I was often late on the payments. A few of the cards went to collections when I was unable to make the payments. This was the beginning of my bad credit.

2. Because I changed my major midstream in school, it ended up taking me 5 years to graduate. My parents had budgeted to financially support me for 4 years of college. Therefore, I was responsible to pay my tuition and books my fifth year, something I had never done.

This was the year I decided to take out a few student loans. This, in and of itself, was not a bad decision. The mistake I made was in taking the maximum amount that was offered to me, even though I did not need that much. For only one year of tuition and books, I ended up taking out about $12,000 in student loans. My tuition that year was approximately $3000, and my books were about $800. I took $8000 above what I needed! I have nothing to show for that money, except a payment I have to make every month to pay it back.

It has been almost 9 years since I graduated from college, and these loans are still not paid off. I am not even close to having them paid because I have taken forbearances (allowed breaks from making payments) for various reasons. During these breaks, the interest has compounded. I now owe roughly $20,000 on these loans.

By the way, just so you know, it is not easy for me to write about all this… to put it all out there for people to read. It’s embarrassing to air dirty laundry, especially when it comes to finances. So many people are “hush hush” about these things. But I truly feel that others may be able to learn from my mistakes. If that is the case, my temporary discomfort will be worth it.

So what can you learn from these mistakes I have made?

If you are a young person, with a fresh clean financial slate, CONGRATULATIONS! I would love to be able to go back in time, and be in your position, knowing what I know now.

Start by educating yourself all you can about the world of credit. The most important thing to keep in mind is that the decisions you make now regarding money will affect your life for years to come. I know many mothers of young children who don’t want to work, but are forced to put their children in daycare just so they can make monthly payments to creditors for purchases they made long ago. It is tragic, and far too common.

Also, know that damage you do to your credit now will show up on your credit report, and affect your score for years to come. When you damage your credit report, it is much more difficult to buy a house, car, or any other large purchase. It may even make it difficult for you to get a job!

A third thing to realize is that right now you are establishing patterns of behavior in your life. It is much easier to start doing things right, and maintain that direction vs making lots of mistakes now and having negative behavior patterns to change later.

If you are a parent, teach your children all you can about how to manage money and credit. Regardless of what type of financial failures or successes you have had, your children deserve to be armed with the knowledge that will help them avoid costly mistakes. Don’t assume that they will automatically understand and know all about this when they turn 18. They will be bombarded by creditors who want to loan them money. Talk to them and teach them about it before this time comes.

My parents are wonderful, and they did a great job raising me. They managed their own money well and always provided a good example of financial stability and security for me. My grandparents have also been wonderful examples of perfect integrity when it comes to money and credit.

Even though I was surrounded by financially successful people, I do not remember ever specifically learning how to handle credit and debt. I now believe it is one of the absolute most important things parents should be teaching their children. So make it a point to talk about these things with your kids!

If you are like me, and have already screwed up, have hope! It is not an easy process, but things can turn around! Stay tuned for further articles in this series, which will address things that have and haven’t worked for me as far as improving my financial situation, and more specifically, my credit profile.

As always, thanks for stopping by. Please leave a comment if you have anything to add!

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An interesting thing has happened in the past few months. I stopped watching TV. I have never been the type of person to spend excessive amounts of time in front of the tube, but I definitely had my favorite shows that I was loyal to every week (namely, Prison Break and 24…now that is what I call good TV!). And at night, as I fell asleep, there were certain “wind down” shows that helped me sink into a peaceful slumber (think “Everybody Loves Raymond, King of Queens… you get the picture).

But those days are gone.

My departure from television was never something I intended to do. I never even gave my TV habits a second thought. I found watching it to be relaxing. Because I didn’t watch excessively, I never felt bad about taking the time to view my favorite shows.

Six weeks ago, I went from working 20 hours a week at my job to 40. On the surface, that could do a lot of the explaining about my lack of TV in the past two months. The fact that the new shows are on reruns all summer could also have something to do with it. But neither of those are the real reason I have stopped watching.

About 8 weeks ago, I started this website. Along with this site, a part of me came out from hiding that I had forgotten was there. I reconnected with many things that I feel fervent about. In addition to reconnecting with these passions, I discovered that the internet is a practical medium for disseminating the ideas and principles I feel so strongly about. And, lucky me… I discovered that I actually enjoy writing! And I am pretty good at it too.

People have asked how I find time to write on this blog when I have so many other things to do in day. My answer to them is that you find time to do things you want to do. You become willing to sacrifice those things that don’t bring you the same level of satisfaction. For me that has been television.

I don’t know how long my separation from TV will last. If it’s forever, that’s really OK with me. I have a feeling that I am going to keep blogging for a very long time because of what I gain from doing so. Which is, by the way, a little money, but a huge amount of personal satisfaction. If big money ever does come along as a result of blogging, it will just be a nice bonus because I love doing it so much. Imagine, making lots of money doing something you would do for free anyway! Well, maybe someday…

So what’s my point? Well, first let me say what it’s not. I am not trying to convince you to stop watching television. I am also not out to recruit you to start blogging. What I am trying to get across to you is to find something to do in life that you feel passionate about. It’s really wonderful to have something to think about and build and work on that you love to do. The other things that are sucking away your time with little to show for it will naturally decrease in priority. And you will be much happier!

Today I was driving along, and I realized how much I love my life right now! Of course, it is not perfect. I have weight to lose. I have bills to pay. I have a messy house today and sometimes I feel like I am getting it all wrong as a parent. But I love my husband. I love my kids. I love my job (what am I, crazy?). And I love writing about how to solve problems, how to live better, and how to find solutions to all things negative in life.

Are you happy? Are you doing things in your life that feel positive and rewarding? Is the way you spend your time worthwhile? If you answered no to any of these questions, challenge yourself to find ways to alter things so you can answer yes to them. If you did answer yes, great! Keep living life to the fullest!

Thanks for stopping by… hope to see you back soon!

And please, share your experiences with the ideas in this article by leaving a comment!

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For those of you who don’t know what Chuck-a-Rama is, let me tell you. It is an all you can eat buffet in the Midwest United States. Among their best items are their rolls (yum, to die for), and their bread pudding. They also have a variety of home cooked foods that change from day to day. Oh, and let’s not forget the salad bar.

I specifically use Chuck-a-Rama in the title of this post because I have found that I am getting traffic to this blog when people search the word “Chuck a Rama” on google (PlainAdvice.com used to consist of restaurant and other business reviews, if you are wondering why this is happening). So I wanted those people to find this page and feel that they really did get some information about what they were searching for!

For the rest of you, the title could really just read “All You Can Eat Buffets as a Weight Loss Tool”.

By the way, this is not a joke. I really truly am going to write about all you can eat buffets as a weight loss tool. Here goes.

Most people think of buffets as a place to go and get so stuffed that you have to unbutton your pants and roll out the door when you are done. I used to be one of those people. I would walk into a buffet, hungry, of course, and I wanted to make sure I got my money’s worth. Not only that… there were just so many things that looked good, I wanted to eat everything to my hearts desire. Needless to say, I was not thinking of “buffets as a weight loss tool” at that point in time.

Judging by a lot of the people you can observe eating at buffets, I am thinking that a majority have also not realized how they can help you in losing weight. I am not trying to be mean, but the next time you are in a buffet restaurant, look around. Some of the heaviest people I have seen tend to be there.

Well, on with my story. My husband is from a different ethnic background than myself. Due to this difference, in the early part of our relationship, we found that we often could not agree on what type of restaurants to go to. As time passed, we found that buffets provided a good place for us, because we would both be able to find something we like. To read more about my marriage and buffets, click here.

After a few years of dating and marriage, and eating at many buffets during that time, I needed to lose weight (hmm go figure :)) So I started doing Weight Watchers. However, just because I was trying to lose weight didn’t mean that my hubby and I no longer went to buffets. It meant that I changed the way I ate when I was there.

I found that out of most of the restaurant choices out there, buffets are probably the most diet friendly of them all (aside from Chinese Buffets, which I believe are pure evil… but delicious.)

At a buffet, you can get a nice big salad to start with. For obvious reasons, the salad is not too difficult to keep weight friendly. Limit the cheeses, nuts, croutons, and go light on the dressing. I personally always choose to eat the full fat ranch, but I put it in a little condiment cup and dip my fork in before each bite. I end up eating very little dressing that way, but I still get the flavor in each bite.

Next, I go take a look at the main dish selections. There are usually a plethora of high fat items that look delicious. Macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes, fried chicken, etc. Depending on the day at Chuck-a- Rama, you can find lasagna, enchiladas, and scones. OK, so those foods are not weight friendly right?

The way I look at it, the buffet presents an opportunity to try a taste of several different items. This instead of stuffing yourself with a full serving (or more) of each and every one. Here are a couple things I keep in mind as I approach the bar to get my food.

• First of all, is this something I really want to eat? If it doesn’t look like something I would truly enjoy, I pass on it. Why waste calories on something you aren’t going to love?
• Second of all, I decide how much of the food would be enough to satisfy me. Usually, it is a bite or two. Really. I know that sounds strange, but it is true that the first few bites of something are usually the best anyway.
• Third, I tally the nutritional content in my head and weigh it against the calories I need to be eating at this meal. Does it fit? Can I afford to eat a bite of something that is going to cost me 5 points? (probably not, if my meal should consist of 10). I eliminate certain choices just because it is not worth it to me to have such a little bit of food for the points value. Again, that usually comes down to questioning if it is a food I really want to try.

When I go to a buffet, I normally try a few items that are normally “off limits” to me. This is the really wonderful thing about eating at one of these establishments as a dieter. It does wonders for me psychologically, because I feel that I get to indulge, without compromising my dieting goals. In a conventional restaurant, you can’t ask the waiter to bring you a bite of this and a bite of that. You have to choose one or two items and that is your meal. At home, I doubt many of us would cook more than one entree’, and then take a bite or two of each one. You can’t beat the variety at a buffet!

Besides indulging in a few bites of the normally forbidden at a buffet, the bulk of my meal usually consists of some healthy, low fat options that fill me up. Starting with a salad helps. For the main portion of my meal, I often have a piece of baked chicken breast, with the skin removed. Or fish. I love cooked vegetables, and often eat the ones that I don’t normally cook at home… but be careful! Sometimes the cooked veggies have a lot of added fat. Usually, this is something you can see if you look for it. Butter floating on top of the water where the corn is sitting is not a good sign.

For dessert, I revert to my earlier process of deciding what to eat. Dessert depends on my mood. At times I want to eat something that is rich and decadent. When this is the case, a bite or two is plenty. When I feel like having more quantity of dessert, the buffet almost always has sugar free jello and pudding. There is also fresh fruit to choose from. Again, this is a beautiful thing about a buffet… all the choices.

Another thought about buffets is this… it takes practice to approach an all you can eat restaurant with a healthy attitude. At least it has for me. The more I have gone to eat at these places, the more able I am to keep my wits about me when I see all that food. Currently, I not only go to buffets with my husband on occasion, but I also go regularly with a Weight Watcher friend of mine. When we tell somebody we are going to weigh in and then going to Chuck-a-Rama, people look at us strangely, as if we are undoing all the weight loss efforts. Not true. We have so much practice going to buffets that it is no longer dangerous to our weight loss goals.

So there you go. Buffets really are a dieters best friend when it comes to eating out. Let me know what you think by leaving a comment!

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Since my “Coming Clean” post a few days ago, I have kept the commitments I made to myself. I have written in my food journal daily, I weighed in on Thursday. And here I am, updating as I said I would.

As expected, I gained weight since I stepped on the scale 2 weeks and 2 days earlier. The gain was 1.8 lbs. I actually expected it to be more. But regardless, I am glad to be done with that weigh in, to be moving in the right direction again!

Journaling is so valuable when it comes to my weight loss efforts. Just tonight, as I was tallying up what I ate today in comparison to this past week, I realized that I am out of weekly flex points. This is not good, since I have 3 days left before a new week starts.

In the past, flex points have been very important to me psychologically. Knowing they are available tells me that I can eat a little more than my daily points and still be within the plan (and lose weight). When I have run out of these points early in the week, I have felt discouraged enough at times to give up for the rest of the week. That cannot happen this time. Despite my disappointment that the weekly allowance is gone, my journal allows me to know exactly where I stand, and I can plan for it. It is so true that knowledge is power.

When I realized the situation, I committed to exercise over the next few days so I can earn a few extra points, giving me the flexibility I need. We are leaving town in the morning, and I wasn’t planning to squeeze a workout into my schedule. But now I am planning to.  If for some reason I don’t, Plan B is that I will just have to stay within my daily points!  Not impossible.  It just requires me to be very conscious of what I am eating and make the smartest choices. 

It is very important to my weight loss success that I do what it takes to stay on track today, tomorrow, etc. Right now is a critical time because I am still getting back in the groove.

As always, thanks for stopping by and sharing my journey with me. Have a great day!

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